(Matt Monday): Want To Keep Their Attention? DO NOT CHASE; Do THIS Instead

Love Life with Matthew Hussey

Matthew Hussey

Relationships, Society & Culture

4.8 • 2.9K Ratings

🗓️ 20 March 2023

⏱️ 11 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

We all know we won’t connect with everyone we meet . . . but one of the most frustrating situations we can find ourselves in is one where we feel an initial spark and a connection, but things just don’t seem to progress. And in the end, they end up fading as we feel a lack of momentum.

Rather than giving in to our desire to double down on communication, there’s a simple shift we can make on a date that allows unique attraction to grow. And it’s the kind of thing that will leave them thinking of us long after the date has ended . . .

If you’d like to learn what this ingredient is and how you can add it to your next date, don’t miss today's brand-new episode.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Communication isn't the same as attraction.
0:02.5	Communication is understanding someone and being understood.
0:07.1	Attraction is creating design.
0:10.0	I got a question recently and I thought I'd bring it to you today because I think it's
0:34.1	going to help a lot of people.
0:36.0	As person said, I feel stuck.
0:38.1	Last May I got out of a 10 year relationship I was in since I was 19.
0:42.8	I'm doing a lot of self development and I found that when it comes to love and dating,
0:47.7	people don't seem to be attracted to open good communication at first.
0:52.8	I've been told I get into deep talk really fast but then I keep getting friend-zoned by
0:57.7	really attractive people because of it.
1:00.6	Wouldn't it be better if I could just be this healthy communicative open person and then
1:06.4	attract that kind of person or are flirting and good communication often at odds?
1:14.7	I thought this was a great question because the answer gets to the heart of why so many
1:21.2	people do not get the call at the end of a first date.
1:30.5	We all have our superpower, the language we know the best and that superpower can be
1:36.8	an incredible thing.
1:38.3	In this woman's case it's her ability to go deep, it's her ability to empathise, it's
1:43.6	her ability to be sincere and to have meaningful conversations.
1:48.8	But when taken to its extreme it can become a disadvantage.
1:55.2	In her case you hear she's getting friend-zoned by people she's attracted to.
2:01.0	The problem with having a superpower like that is that we tend to rely on it, we lean
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