(Rewind): 5 Secrets to Finding Love Even If You Hate Dating

Love Life With Matthew Hussey

Matthew Hussey

Relationships, Society & Culture

4.8 • 2.9K Ratings

🗓️ 1 August 2025

⏱️ 10 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Dating fatigue is real. Given the option, I think most people would choose to bypass the process entirely and skip directly to being in a meaningful relationship.

But since science isn’t quite there yet, how can you manage your energy so the dating process—the part you need in order to FIND that relationship—doesn’t burn you out before you even GET to the good stuff?

In today’s Rewind episode, I share 5 tips that will help you find an energy-replenishing relationship rather than an energy-depleting one. You’ll learn how to:

• Ease into getting to know someone rather than pinning all your hopes and dreams on them.

• Communicate from a place of strength rather than insecurity.

• Match your investment and energy to the stage of the relationship you’re actually in.

You’ll want to bookmark this video and rewatch it before any date.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Look, truth is, most people who watch this channel want a relationship.
0:05.0	Relationships? Yes. Dating? I don't want that. So how do you manage your energy so that the dating process, the part that you need to do to get to a relationship doesn't burn you out before you ever get one?
0:38.6	Here are five ways to manage your energy in the process. Number one, be wary of projecting your hopes and dreams onto
0:45.9	the person you're on a date with. So many people start dating somebody, they get over-excited
0:51.9	about that person, they get excited about the projection of them, not the real them. How could they? They barely know this person. And all of
0:58.4	a sudden, the stakes become very high because it becomes very important that this goes well
1:04.5	because after all, this is the right person. You're projecting your hopes, your dreams,
1:10.3	onto the person in front of you. They are a blank
1:12.8	canvas on which to put everything you've always wanted in your love life. When the stakes go up
1:18.3	like that, so does your adrenaline. Your energy starts to spike as you give more and more to this
1:24.1	person. Even if you don't show it to this person, just the anxiety that comes
1:29.8	with having made them so important burns energy. Remember this. Getting to know someone,
1:36.1	knowing if they're truly right for you is a slow process. It happens through the accretion of moments and experiences with this person that tell you bit by bit there's someone you could actually construct a relationship with.
1:53.0	It's not something that happens overnight. So relax if you're early in the process right now. there's not really anything for you to lose.
2:01.5	Number two, the second way to manage your energy is to not give all of yourself immediately.
2:08.5	We do this in one of two ways. We either give someone the absolute best of us,
2:14.1	or we give someone the worst of us. Both are too much energy for where we're at in the
2:20.5	process in early dating. Now giving someone the worst of us would mean showing them all of our
2:25.8	insecurities, talking about our angry feelings towards our ex about our last breakup, talking about
2:31.9	the intimacy issues we have from something that's happened to us
2:35.2	in our life, essentially taking all of the difficult things in our life or all of the
2:39.9	struggles we're currently having and placing them in front of the other person at an inappropriate
	...

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