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The Overwhelmed Brain

Rekindling with toxic family - The long-term results of honoring yourself - Even the victim plays a role - Contact or no contact your ex

The Overwhelmed Brain

Paul Colaianni: Emotional Abuse and Relationship Expert

Mental Health, Education, Health & Fitness, Self-improvement

4.52K Ratings

🗓️ 18 June 2017

⏱️ 69 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

How do you go about rekindling with toxic and / or dysfunctional family members? Is it worth "going home" and starting up those old, dysfunctional, family get-togethers again? Is it possible to avoid the toxicity of family past? There is a way to return to a toxic environment but it's going to take some courage to be the person you want to be with the people that have always treated you the way you don't want to be treated. I talk about that in segment one. In segment two, I read a message from someone who shares what it's like honoring yourself. Joshua shares that he's been taking steps to stand up for himself and express his truths to people that he never has before. He is showing up as that authentic person he's always wanted to be and things are happening for him in a way that never have before. I also share what happens when you choose not to express yourself and instead repress what's going on in you instead. I'll give you a hint… it's depression. In segment three I talk about what your responsibility in the relationship is. Even when you're the victim of any type of abuse, as awful as that is, you are still a component in the equation of that environment and therefore have some level of responsibility. It may seem like you have no choice but often the choices you do have you simply won't consider because you fear the consequences of making that choice. The victim in an abusive or painful relationship still plays a role so when he or she takes responsibility, there's a better chance of both of you healing. It's not a "It's all your fault" system, it becomes a "I'll take responsibility and you'll take responsibility, then we can work on this together." That's a nice fantasy and sometimes that happens, but when it goes, it can actually help a relationship. Of course, if there's abuse, it may be time to just get out while there's a chance. During the closing of the show, I read a message from someone asking me if it's too soon to contact his ex. It's been a couple weeks and he just wants to call and apologize and tell her he misses their friendship. There is a way to gauge whether it's too soon or not, and it has to do with your level of attachment to the reuniting. The strong that attachment it, the likelihood that it's too soon to contact. I go over it in lots of detail in the show. Today's episode is brought to you by the gift of someone's life: StoryWorth! Visit storyworth.com/brain and use the code "brain" to get $20 off

Transcript

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0:00.0

You are listening to the overwhelmed brain. Today's episode is brought to you by story worth trying to get that last minute Father's Day gift.

0:06.2

Go to storyworth.com forward slash brain and get $20 off the gift of their life.

0:12.0

Are you annoyed by affirmations?

0:15.0

Are you tired of that same old rehashed personal growth advice

0:19.0

that all seems to boil down to,

0:22.0

think positively and all your problems will go away.

0:25.8

If affirmations feel like lies and positive thinking feels like denial, then I want you

0:31.1

to get ready.

0:32.3

The overwhelmed brain is here to help you create the life you want now. Hello this is Paul Colleani your personal empowerment coach and host of the overwhelmed brain.

0:55.8

This is the personal growth show for the critical thinker.

0:58.6

On every episode we'll talk about practical down-to-earth steps to help you improve your mood and keep you sane in this powerful journey we call life.

1:08.0

I want to help you bridge the gap between your emotions and reason, causing you to discover why you do the things you do, and what you can do to reach

1:14.8

higher levels of happiness and lower levels of stress and overwhelm.

1:18.9

Just remember that everything I talk about in this show should not be mistaken for actual

1:21.9

medical advice or treatment and

1:23.3

is intended for informational and educational purposes only.

1:26.3

Always consult your physician before making any changes to your medical treatment.

1:29.9

And also remember that what you'll find here is an increase in your emotional intelligence,

1:34.0

the strengthening of your self-worth and self-esteem, the motivation to be your authentic

1:38.7

self, and the forward momentum to help you learn, heal, grow, and evolve.

1:45.0

All right, one of the first things I want to talk about is having to do with your family,

1:51.0

in the sense that when you grow up get out of the house go on your own and you're

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