Hi, my name is John Kim. I'm a therapist who went through his own

rebirth many years ago and I've been documenting my journey ever since sharing my life

lessons and revelations. I believe in casual over clinical with you instead of at you. I come unrehearsed on purpose

because self-help doesn't have to be so complicated.

I want to start with the story and I'm sure I'm going to fuck it up. A woman named

Mariam Woodman tells a story about her husband and this is after being married for a long time of course everything he did

annoyed the shit out of her I'm sure you could relate if you've been in

relationships for a long time we start to get on each other's nerves, right?

And they were in the kitchen one day and he dropped an egg and of course she thought,

ugh, what an idiot, but then she noticed something. She noticed his hands and it was the way that he was cutting something and

this gave her this complete feeling of love because she thought about his hands on their children's face,

on her shoulder, the way that he touched her with his hands, and in that moment she realized that she never wanted to leave him.

Now you could hear this and think, you know, it sounds like a poem or it sounds like a commercial or whatever. I think it's a beautiful

story and I think that we forget so much about the beauty of our partner. We forget because we are not rediscovering.

And so here's the thing.

In a moment where you're super annoyed, can you actively

choose to look at something about your partner that you love. So this isn't something that we

normally do, right? We get caught up in routines and

respond to people based on our feelings and our annoyances, we have to constantly

rediscover our partner or the relationship can get very stale.

Actually this isn't just about our partner, it's just in life.

You are always rediscovering your friends, you rediscovering yourself, you were discovering yourself, you were discovering everything in life, you know,

...