Redeeming Marital Sexuality: An Interview with Sam Jolman

Famous at Home

Josh + Christi Straub

Parenting, Relationships, Christianity, Religion & Spirituality, Society & Culture, Kids & Family

4.9 • 653 Ratings

🗓️ 2 July 2025

⏱️ 46 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Sam Jolman says, “The realm of evil hates your sexuality… [and] tries to, as quickly and as early as possible, join shame to your sexual story.”

As we continue season 5 on relational intelligence, therapist and author Sam Jolman joins us to talk about sex in marriage. Shame wreaks havoc on intimacy and relational connection, keeping us isolated and feeling alone.

It was never intended to be this way. Author of The Sex Talk You Never Got, Sam offers a refreshing, pure, and healing perspective on how to discuss, heal, and redeem intimacy with your spouse.

Time Stamps:
0:00 Introduction
2:39 Sam Jolman joins the show
6:04 Shame and the assault on sex
13:09 The human body created for pleasure
19:54 Song of Songs and the deep “knowing” that is the bedrock for intimacy
24:17 How to have the conversation of sex with your spouse
32:33 The role of kindness and compassion in the healing of your story
37:51 Talking about playfulness, safety, and sex with your spouse

Show Notes:
Get Sam Jolman’s book The Sex Talk You Never Got: https://amzn.to/4kflULX

If you’re interested in a marriage you love, fill out this form: https://www.famousathome.com/loveyourmarriage

Register now for the Tender & Fierce Fall Cohort: https://www.famousathome.com/offers/dDt2Aobj/checkout

Download NONAH's brand new single Find My Way Home by clicking here: https://bellpartners.ffm.to/findmywayhome

Transcript

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0:00.0	You know, we all come to marriage with a story. And I don't just mean like a checkered past, right?
0:07.1	Like, you know, like, oh, you have, you have sexual sin per se. But like just to mark the realm of evil hates your sexuality.
0:17.6	The realm of evil tries to as early and as quickly as possible join shame to your sexual story, to your sexual arousal, to your sexual curiosity, to your sexual desire.
0:31.2	And so, you know, by the time you've met your partner, your spouse, you've gotten married, you know, you, you know, can I guarantee it?
0:41.3	I don't know you.
0:42.4	But, you know, 99.9% sure, you have shame.
0:46.2	You have stories.
0:47.4	And they could be as painful and as terrifying and shameful as sexual abuse.
0:54.5	Or it can be just, again, what we might call more subtle ways.
1:00.2	And I only say subtle because they don't maybe register to you as, you know, this was harm.
1:06.5	But ways that the realm of evil is trying to join shame to your arousal.
1:11.6	I won't lose hope in the night when the fire is growing down.
1:19.6	I'll just let go and I'll try.
1:23.6	Help me walk this road and find my way back home.
1:30.3	Find my way back home.
1:42.3	Welcome back to the Famous at Home podcast.
1:47.0	It is such a delight to be with you again this week.
1:50.4	I have a new friend.
1:52.3	Somebody who I've actually been reading, listening to for since last summer.
1:57.3	I'll never forget.
1:57.9	I was on a mower, mowing my lawn, listening to Sam on John Eldridge's
2:03.9	podcast, on the Wildheart podcast, just going, this is the most refreshing conversation that I've
	...

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