Well, hello there everyone and welcome back to the Love Life podcast.

I am your host today. My name is Steven Archibald Cussie. That is slightly false. My middle name is not Archibald, but a man can dream.

Well, what are we doing here today? Well, I thought I'd do something a little something I promised something that I haven't got round to yet, but I feel is time I got round to which is reading out some of your emails.

And I want to talk on, I got a lot of emails about the love bombing episode that was a few back if you want to go back and listen to that one.

And it seems that there's something of a love bombing crime wave because it seems that many people have faced this before. Love bombing for those of you don't know is when very early on in a relationship someone showers you with attention and affection and they're all over you and they gush and they talk about how you're like no one they've ever met and they move quickly and you're kind of excited by it.

And you're swept up in the romance of it and they give you all this love and attention and then very often it suddenly taken away or they drift away they changed their mind they they're very fickle and you wonder what the hell happened given the way they were talking early on.

So we have an email here from Eliza who says greetings from Denmark. Hello Eliza. She says I was love bombed. I dated this guy who love bombed me in every thinkable way and then ghosted me after a couple of months.

He sent a text that said we are too different and didn't reply after that. It happened more than two years ago. Thank you for explaining this in a short and clear way.

I wouldn't send this reply but that idiot contacts me a couple times of year with a short and nice message saying Merry Christmas thinking of you thought of you the other day hope you are well and so on.

I usually don't bother to answer but this time I answered that my summer is wonderful but I didn't plan to be in touch with him as my time is too precious for that.

I wished him well and blocked him again on different channel.

She says what the heck is wrong with him if he contacts me again how do I proceed so that he does not wish to contact me.

She also adds I find this kind of behavior pathetic and apparent but it boggles my mind.

Yes Eliza, the behavior you talk about where someone carries on after disappearing or after breaking things off that's actually very common that someone keeps getting back in touch and it's kind of you know put the love bombing itself is bad and the ghosting and you know that's obviously someone who is extremely uncaring unimpathetic

and rude and you know obviously that's the dangerous thing about love bombing which is why people can really enjoy the initial moments because it feels like a heady roller coaster of romance but suddenly the roller coaster comes to an abrupt halt and that's kind of why you have to be suspicious at first and it's not that you go into love skeptical well it is kind of skeptical it's healthily skeptical it you you should at least

have a sense where you don't know who this person is yet early on in the first few days you can be having a great time be vulnerable be open and open minded but if someone seems if it feels like someone is really accelerating this quicker than feels warranted or comfortable it's up to you to kind of put the brakes on then and say hold on this seems like too much and that might go counter to your instincts if you really like this person.

But it's kind of for the good of the future version of you who might face this fickleness if that could someone who can fall in love really really quickly can often fall out of love quickly and change their mind and so it's not that you want to you know assume everyone is a bad person who could be out to screw you over but you do need to say hold on this seems to be moving a little quickly for me I'm really enjoying getting to know you but let's just see how it goes let's not move too fast

and be the one who actually speaks up and puts the breaks on and as for your part after as in the person who contacts you later down the line afterwards that's kind of a separate issue and people often do that after even after just a normal break up and it's kind of up to you I guess to decide you know some people are happy to have this person as a casual acquaintance or they don't mind talking to them now and then but if it kind of you know this is a good thing

kind of you know this person already left a bad taste in your mouth anyway and it kind of bugs you that this person keeps checking in then you know you've had your conversation with him as far as I'm concerned you've told him how you feel about it

and you've said your times too precious so I think if he contacts you again you have no obligation to any explanation to any reply I would just block him on your platforms if you really want to be rid of him and don't want him you know creeping your social media and that stuff just block him be done with it you know you can waste a lot of time and energy giving people long drawn out explanations

so yes I would I would put it to bed and not worry about him any longer we have another email sent in from Mrs. Robinson who uses a nice little nom de plume there and she says hi Stevie boy I listen to the podcast about love bombing and want to share a snip into my life two years ago I bought a condo and was super excited about making it my own once I got settled down I was open to dating

well this amazingly handsome man came around and he and I really hit it off and he just so happened to also be really good at fixing things classic so I asked for help

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