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LOVERS by Shan

Rachel Lindsay’s Shocking Discovery About Intimacy After Divorce

LOVERS by Shan

Lemonada Media

Relationships, Society & Culture, Health & Fitness, Sexuality

5.05.7K Ratings

🗓️ 28 January 2026

⏱️ 48 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

In this episode of Lovers, Higher Learning host and former Bachelorette Rachel Lindsay shares the deeply personal story of what it was like to experience intimacy both sexually and emotionally for the first time after divorce. After nearly a decade of being with only one partner, that she met while being the Bachelorette, Rachel walks us through the fears, emotions, and expectations she carried into that moment, from questions of safety and vulnerability to the quiet pressure of “doing it right” after such a long chapter had closed. She reflects on what that experience taught her about trust, desire, and emotional presence, and how those lessons reshaped her understanding of intimacy moving forward. Though she isn’t with the person from that first post-divorce experience, Rachel shares why she remains grateful for what it revealed about her needs, her boundaries, and her capacity for connection. She also opens up about how those insights are influencing the relationship she’s in today, offering a grounded, honest look at what intimacy can become after loss, change, and reinvention. This conversation isn’t about sex for shock value. It’s about safety, growth, and learning how to meet yourself again after everything you thought you knew about love has shifted. ———Follow Rachel LindsayInstagram → https://www.instagram.com/therachlindsay/  YouTube → https://www.youtube.com/@HigherLearning  Podcast — Higher Learning with Van Lathan & Rachel Lindsay → https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/higher-learning-with-van-lathan-and-rachel-lindsay/id1515152489  Official Website → https://www.rachellindsayofficial.com/  Rachel’s Book — Miss Me With That: Hot Takes, Helpful Tidbits, And A Few Hard Truths → https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/57895042-miss-me-with-that?from_search=true&from_srp=true&qid=vFiuBJ3vpY&rank=1  Want more Lover?Receive the weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletterJoin the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/communityExplore quizzes and worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

Lemonada.

0:02.0

You know, I got a lot of blowback the last time I did this podcast.

0:08.0

Really?

0:09.0

It was so freeing for women.

0:11.0

The assumptions hinder the sexual relationship where you're just so busy and so exhausted and so sex isn't as exciting.

0:20.0

What's the powerful thing that you've learned that you want to pass on to the women's?

0:23.6

I hadn't felt sexy and I don't even know how long.

0:28.6

I hadn't felt desired, wanted, just really got caught up in, you should be married by now,

0:34.6

you should have kids by now, and I was willing to kind of compromise and settle on some things.

0:38.7

I had been with this person, faithful to this person, is the only person who had seen my body.

0:44.1

And then all of a sudden it's gone.

0:46.6

Am I going to be able to let myself go and feel comfortable enough to be with someone?

0:52.9

And then I...

0:54.1

Hey there, lover.

0:57.0

Thank you so much for being here.

0:58.0

My favorite quote is the key to happiness is managing expectations.

1:02.0

So let's get on the same page.

1:04.0

You are about to listen to a conversation between myself and Rachel Lindsay about

1:08.0

rediscovering intimacy after divorce. There'll be some ads here and there. And for

1:12.7

those of you watching, we put so much effort into video production. So enjoy that. And please subscribe

1:18.6

to the YouTube channel that really helps us to grow. For those of you who are listening

1:23.0

after my interview with Rachel is done, you get to hear my debrief, my insights, my musings

...

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