Quickie w/ Julie: The #1 Skill You Can Have In Dating

Dateable: Your insider's look into modern dating and relationships

Yue Xu and Julie Krafchick

Sexuality, Social Sciences, Relationships, Science, Society & Culture, Health & Fitness

4.7 • 910 Ratings

🗓️ 13 March 2026

⏱️ 10 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

In this episode, Julie is breaking down the biggest change she made when dating the last time around before meeting her now-husband: seeking clarity. If you’ve ever overanalyzed a text, questioned where you stand, or stayed because “maybe it’ll become clear,” this conversation will shift how you approach dating. Julie breaks down why directly asking for what you need isn’t aggressive — it’s self-respect — and how getting real answers (even the uncomfortable ones) is the fastest path to healthier love. -- Take the Dating Archetypes quiz now: https://howtobedateable.com/ Read our book: How To Be Dateable: The Essential Guide To Finding Your Person and Falling in Love: https://howtobedateable.com/ Try the Dateable AI Dating Coach: Get personalized advice trained on our years of podcast episodes, courses and frameworks: https://studio.com/dateable Follow us @dateablepodcast, @juliekrafchick and @nonplatonic. Check out our website for more content. Also listen to our other podcasts The Psychology of Relationships and Exit Interview available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. WE WROTE A BOOK! HOW TO BE DATEABLE (Simon & Schuster) is available now: https://howtobedateable.com/ Want to remove distractions from your dates? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/DATEABLE Our Sponsors: * Avocado Green Mattress: Check out their mattress and furniture sale: https://avocadogreenmattress.com/DATEABLE * Get Rain of Shadows and Endings wherever books are sold or at Kensington Publishing https://www.kensingtonbooks.com * Quince: Get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com/dateable * Ruggable: Get 10% off your first order, sitewide, with promo code DATEABLE at https://ruggable.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcript

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1:05.7	The number one skill you could have in dating is you're probably guessing communication. In In a way it is, but I want to get a bit more
1:14.5	specific. In my opinion, it's seeking clarity. And this may not be in the way you think, so stay with me.
1:22.2	But hello to everyone listening, Julie here with another quickie. So when you hear Seeking Clarity, you may think
1:28.8	knowing what you're looking for and getting clear on your needs in a relationship. While that
1:33.9	is certainly a part of it, it goes a lot deeper. Seeking clarity is about removing ambiguity and getting
1:40.7	answers. I actually think staying in limbo for too long is one of the most
1:45.4	detrimental mistakes people make to find their person. And take that from someone who is in a
1:50.7	slew of situationships and it ought to get off again relationship that lasted far too long.
1:55.7	If I had been clear about what I wanted, what I needed from a partner, got in my answers earlier, then I could
2:02.2	have moved on from these situations that weren't aligned for me and found ones that actually were.
2:08.7	Luckily, I realized this the last time I was dayday and allowed me to cut off anything that
2:13.7	wasn't working and even get quote unquote rejected by people first since I was fully putting
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