All right, folks, welcome back to another episode of the Relationship Coaching School. I'm your host,

Jason Gattis. Good to be here. Thanks for listening. Today, I want to talk about putting the pieces

of the puzzle of your client's life together.

Now remember, I'm always talking two levels here on this podcast.

I'm talking to the client, those of you who are clients of therapy or coaching,

and to coaches and therapists when we're working with our clients.

So you're trying to listen in two ways, all right?

So I want to start with an observation that I learned from Dr. Dan Siegel,

who was strangely in my dream last night,

that one of the hallmark signatures of securely attached children in families

is a parent's ability to make meaning out of their life. The parents' ability to make meaning out of their life.

The parent who can self-reflect and understand what they've been through in their life

and how it's impacted them, to sort through the traumas and the challenging life experiences, the good, the bad, the ugly.

When a parent can do that, they're more likely to raise securely attached kids.

Why is that?

Well, think about it.

Our parents, as awesome as they might have been, didn't do a lot of self-reflection

because it just wasn't on the menu, right? In the 60s and 70s, for a lot of us, therapy and

podcasts and stuff weren't a thing. So parents just didn't do a lot of that. And when you don't reflect on your own life

and really try to sort through the puzzle pieces and go, oh, this is why I'm this way. Oh, this is

why I show up in a relationship this way.

This is why I get so triggered by this type of person.

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