Hi, my name is John Kim. I'm a therapist who went through his own

rebirth many years ago and I've been documenting my journey ever since sharing my life

lessons and revelations. I believe in casual or clinical with you instead of at you. I come unrehearsed on purpose

because self-help doesn't have to be so complicated. So you and I are deep into our book, it's not me, it's you. And I don't know if this is a positive or negative, but this is the first time I've ever

co-written a book with someone.

And so things come up because we're talking about our relationship and what happened and how we met and many people don't know that it wasn't smooth sailing.

So one of the revelations that we had this morning,

and I'm sharing this because I think many people

could relate to this is what is happening underneath. And so the theme of the

part that we're writing has to do with when we first met my ambivalence and that ambivalence not landing well for you.

And what we realized was at the end of the day,

it was you not feeling chosen.

So what's interesting is now that underlining thing

runs deeper than just you're not feeling chosen.

It's a sensitive, it kind of taps on a sensitive spot because it's thematic, or is it thematic in your life?

Well I mean I think it's through the process of writing this book that I realized that it was a pattern that I was unaware of until I laid it all on paper

and I started, I guess, dissecting the other relationships that came before hours or at least the

meaningful ones and realizing that the one thing that they all had in common in the beginning was that

They made me feel chosen

Right and I I mean I talk a lot about codependency and cod dependent tendencies.

One of the tendencies that codependents have and I guess behaviors that we perfect is this ability to make sure, at least for me,

make sure that we are chosen by doing whatever we need to do to keep that going.

...