Puddles in the morning, puddles in the evening, puddles in the afternoon, I'm a puddle boy and she's a puddle girl, puddles podcasting, starting real soon.

Welcome to puddles with Andrew Collin aka dry dick aka poo pans aka puddle boy aka 12 falls aka old great balls aka elbow skin aka sick eyebrows aka alien thumbs aka wide thumbs aka who get those thumbs away from me aka all day aka aka

what's going on great show today we got Heather McMahon who is just so incredibly talented and I really do lover she she has somehow made her own lane which is just always impressive when you can do it kind of without anyone really helping other than you just making great content and connecting with people.

She's amazing I'm good if you're wondering I just got back from the gym I've just been lifting like meat head lifts now I go through so many different kind of workouts it's kind of crazy and I yo yo like crazy I eat great all day and then at 12 at night I'll get an egg and cheese and a veggie burger and then I'll take the burger.

Take the burger off the off like the bun off the bread so I don't eat bread and then halfway through eating the veggie burger all then I'll eat the bun like I'll start like that like getting the bun you know and then I'll start mixing the bun and then I'll just only eat the bun.

I'm a fucking mess and then I'll like do half the egg and cheese sandwich and then put the other half to decide to try to be healthy and then that last 30 seconds it's just I mean I don't know you know I try not to have too big of expectations on how I eat and how and and trying to be easy on myself which I think we need to do but it's tough when.

When you it's tough when you're trying and you fail I should just completely let myself go and then I would have no problem you know no I would I'd have other issues and I'd be price at her if you anyone been waking up just like depressed lately I know that doesn't sound that funny or thrilling it is kind of funny I wake up with a lot of dread and it's tough to even take on the day.

And then about 10 minutes later for some reason I'm completely fine but right when I wake up I'm just like fuck fuck COVID uh fuck fucking more depressing news fuck you know but things are good things are good um you know so let's do some story time some great stories here I

This was pretty uh incredible so five years ago my husband my pug dog and I went to visit my family in Texas we had an evening flight home on a Sunday so that day we decided to day drink before heading to the airport.

Already I see kind of where this is going you know getting fucking hammered at the airport everyone thinks it's like you forget

that you still have to go through the ticket counter that you still have to wait in line like like you can't just keep drinking like until my guess maybe you can if you have a flask but I'm just saying like like getting fucked up and going to airport then you're just fucking standing in line it's terrible I've had so many times where I've stood in line like after a trip to Vegas

and I'm just like thinking I'm going to die because I'm so hung over and I'm just like oh I just feel like fucking like an old man that's dying who's on dialysis and I'm just I've already thrown up four times

fucking airports sucks that's why I'm going to fly private soon once you know my Patreon gets higher um so we had an evening flight home okay so well I had a little too much and by the time we got to the airport it was storming pretty much

pretty bad and our flight got delayed eventually we're all being escorted to the basement of the airport because there was a random tornado in the area I was terrified so what else was there to do to take your mind off the situation but to have sex

tornado sex god damn there's nothing better than a little tornado sex boy it really is hilarious that you're like we all might die so I might as well get a nut in

I mean I guess there's something hot about like tornadoes like coming at you maybe you'll die so you might as well fuck within the last two minutes or just like you're not even really thinking about it because you're so drunk you don't really think like oh you know this tornado can you know

fucking kill people I don't know we found the nearest family bathroom pug and toe and my husband bent me over to counter and started fucking me I can only imagine what the dog was thinking

when I drink I used to get a little too sexually aggressive so I began yelling at him to choke me harder and harder Jesus

next thing I knew I woke up to my pug fervently licking the ground and my husband was no longer inside me and I said in the bitchiest most sincere way possible why aren't you still fucking me apparently he choked me until I passed out and simultaneously squirted everywhere

and that's how we learned our pug likes to taste of squirt oh god look at those eyes of a pug you're always like I love to eat some ass you know they're always just like

pugs always are like I'm ready I'm ready to eat some ass and some squirt I wish that's where the story ended but unfortunately dumbass me continue to the bitch my man out for not continuing to have sex with me

and all the way until the tornado has passed and we were on the plane about to take off picture me drunk register emotional support pug in my lab loudly complaining for all to hear husband quiet and mortified until an air marshal comes over

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