What's going on? Welcome to Puddles with Andrew Colin aka Puddle Boy aka Dry Dic aka Poo Pans aka 12 Falls aka Old Great Balls aka Elbow Skin aka Weird Thumbs aka Alien Thumbs aka Sick Eye Browse aka Eye Browse for Days aka Eye Browse for Hours

aka Myz aka Puddle Boy forgot that one. I started doing the akas again because I realized I've been doing this alone and a lot of you yelled at me for taking them off and I listen to peer pressure because I'm afraid and I'm a scared man.

What in my new place? I'm fucking really happy. I had a very big rug debacle which if you go to my Instagram you can see a lot of shit happen.

I ended up buying a rug. I didn't measure. It was three by five. I thought I would work in the living room. It didn't work in the living room.

It was a mistake. It was a mistake. I went with too small of a rug. You learn. This is the thing about I'm in my new place. I'm trying. I'm just going to try. It's going to be a lot of trial and error.

Obviously, if I measured, it would have been easier. I would have done a little bit better. But you know, Rome wasn't built in a day and neither was my studio apartment in a four-story walk-up.

I'm so happy to be here. I still haven't gotten laid in the apartment, although who knows? Who knows what will happen this weekend?

What happened? I did stand-up last night, which was unbelievable. I followed Bill Burr. He went up to in front of me, so I didn't quite follow him. It's kind of crazy when you're kind of out of stand-up for a little bit.

When I was really in the thick of stand-up, if I saw Bill Burr, I would have been like, oh my God, there's Bill Burr. I got to follow him. I don't know if I'm going to be funny or whatever.

And then if you do a show once every nine months, you're like, whatever, dude. You would think it would build up more, but I'm just like, if I do well, I do well.

And he's not going to listen to my set, really. I think he left halfway through, so that was good.

I had a good set, though. It was fun. It was Ashley's and Raina's show for girls got to eat. It was fun.

Yeah, so I was way off about Trump, but I'm not going to talk about him that much. I just literally, I know I talked about it, about comparing him to my dad, and how he's going to learn from this. He learned nothing.

So I'm going to go back to hating him and writing that he should get fucked. But anyways, that being said, let's get into some stories. Here comes the puddles too. Drop the music.

We all know that song. Okay, here we go. First story. I was a sophomore in college and was out one night with a solid brown out stage going on.

Okay, can we stop this brown out thing? Like I get it like brown out is a little less than a blackout, but like it just sounds like you're shitting your fucking panties.

I browned out. It just makes me nauseous for some reason. It's like, can we just or just say you're really drunk.

And not full on blackout, but browning for sure. Oh, more shit in your panties. Okay, I ended up at this junior's house.

Ooh, who was the hottest, richest guy in the grade, but my God, was he just the stupidest asshole you will ever meet.

I love that hottest and richest, and he's the stupidest guy. What I would do to be so rich and handsome that I could warm already pretty dumb, but I'm also like, I'm like cognizant enough of it.

Like I'm not that hot in that rich, you know what I mean? Okay, anyways, anyways, my brown out eyes again, shit in your panties.

Told me I was in love and we locked the eyes. I knew something was going to happen. I love when girls are like, and then we locked the eyes and I got a feeling.

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