I'm a puddle boy, she's a puddle girl, puddles podcasting, starting real soon.

Y'all, welcome to an episode of puddles, it's Andrew Colin, thank you for coming, thank

you for joining me. I last week, I recognized I was like too close to the mic so you could hear

a lot of this like, oh yeah, all right. So I'm going to stay farther away from the mic so you

don't hear. I swear to God, I heard myself and I was like, I should go to the hospital. I am

breathing like a fucking fat hog that like had to run on a treadmill for about three and a half

days and then he just tries to talk and he's just like, well, anyhow, thank you for joining me,

got a great show today, Nikki Glazer will be doing the interview, portion, I don't know if I said

that right. I am going to do, so you know, I talked about this, we did the puddles five, but I think

I'm going to shorten it up a little bit and I don't know, I haven't got much feedback negatively

about it being too long. I just feel like the stories are better than the questions. So I'm going

to read two stories and then we'll talk about one random topic about pop culture and I guess we'll

go from there. I'm wearing baby blue sweater. I'm trying colors now, you know, getting crazy. This

is Haynes. This is $9 on Amazon. You know, I never shopped on Amazon until the pandemic is that

and people thought it was fucking crazy and now I've bought maybe 800 things off Amazon and when

the package shows up, it's better than orgasming. Every single time it's fucking Hanukkah, I get

365 presence a year or Christmas, whatever you pick, it's fucking unbelievable. And I get it,

I get why Amazon does so good because every day it's like, well, we would do Christmacah

and we would open the presence on Christmas Eve, which I don't get it. My dad remarried a Christian

woman. So we did Christmacah where we did Hanukkah and Christmas at the same time, but it was on

Christmas and you know, you go underneath the Hanukkah tree Christmas bush and yeah, every year

it started to become, this is just Christmas. Are we just, let's stop fucking lying to ourselves,

...