Pregnant Pirates Meet Olivia Benson

Absolutely Not

Dear Media

Callin, Humor, Aperol, Arts, Comedian, Entertainment, Advice, Personal572339, Funny, Instagram, Hotline, Female, Comedy, Heathermcmahon

4.9 • 13.6K Ratings

🗓️ 24 March 2021

⏱️ 57 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather Breaks down her recent surprise in the Turks and all the trouble she stirred up in Charleston. There was leather, edibles, bootcut jeans and lots of questions. She also hits the hotline and tries to fix your problems one drunken message at a time.

Right now, Modern Fertility is offering our listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/absolutely.

For a limited time, Spanx is offering Absolutely Not listeners 10% off their order on Spanx.com!

To find out where you can purchase Vizzy go to vizzyhardseltzer.com/ABSOLUTELY

Produced by Dear Media.

Transcript

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0:00.0	The following podcast is a dear media production.
0:06.5	Welcome to the Absolutely Not Podcast, where we do the most in the least at the same damn time.
0:12.4	I'm your host Heather McMahon.
0:17.8	Hello ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another episode of the Absolutely Not podcast.
0:22.8	I'm your host Heather McMahon.
0:24.0	How the hell are you?
0:24.9	Yeah, I'm sorry I'm a little a dry little horse this week.
0:30.6	I am so sorry, y'all.
0:31.6	I have been losing my voice because it's just dry shit and it's pollen season in Atlanta,
0:37.5	which if you've ever been below the Mason Dixon line anywhere between, I'd say March 1st and June
0:43.8	3rd, you know, it's just it's hell on earth when it comes to allergies.
0:48.5	It sounds like I'm about to do an ad.
0:49.9	I'm not even doing an ad.
0:52.0	It's literally hell on earth when it comes to allergies.
0:55.6	That's why I use Zirtet.
0:57.6	Oh God, although I am a poster child for an allergy commercial.
1:01.9	Currently my face is riddled with eczema.
1:04.1	My under eyes are crusty as fuck.
1:07.5	My lower, if I was a man and I were to have a goatee, my goatee soul patch region is
1:14.8	literally flaking off.
1:16.2	I've got facial eczema because I rubbed my eyes after I don't know touching the side of a boat.
1:21.8	That had pollen on it.
	...

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