I'm Chris Taylor here with this week's sex chat quickie.

This tip is specifically for wives who have been sexually reluctant and are ready to work on improving their sexual engagement with their husbands.

If your sexual

reluctance is related to untreated trauma or to your husband's sins, this tip is not for you.

But if you have mostly just gotten into a habit of avoiding sex or being mentally checked out

during sex, this tip might help you out. Here's the tip, and it's really simple. Practice.

When I began to work on my sexual reluctance, I often reacted negatively, of course,

to my husband's sexual bids. Even if I'd been planning to suggest a sexual encounter or to say

yes if he initiated, the second he broached the subject, my automatic

habit of no or, is that all you think about, burst out of my mouth. I decided that I needed to learn

how to take a deep breath and think before reacting. But how could I do that? Here's what I did.

I practiced. In non-sexual situations, I would take a deep breath,

think, and then respond. My husband would say, could you pass the salt, please? I took a deep

breath and then thought and then passed it to him. If he asked about our plans for the weekend,

I took a deep breath and thought. And here's why it worked. By practicing when sex

wasn't the subject, it helped that breathe and think response become an automatic habit when it

wasn't such a charged, difficult situation. After a few weeks, I didn't have to remind myself to

breathe and think in those non-sexual situations. I just did it.

Over time, that automatic habit began to show up in conversations about sex as well.

So I practiced my sexual reaction in non-sexual situations so I could get good at it and build up that set of tools in my mind. Practicing how to react

helped me overcome my longtime habit of avoiding or deflecting my husband's sexual initiation. Maybe it can

help you too.

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