I'd rather be a hammer than a nail.

That way I could smash you in the head over and over.

Um, welcome to the Harlan Highway.

What a dopey beginning, but aren't they all?

Thanks for being here, wherever you are, cutting grass, shingling a roof,

working in an office, walking your dog sitting on the throne.

We welcome you here.

Because what a show, what a show we have today.

We're going to be getting into your letters. It's a listener mailbag today, not the whole

show, but part of it. We will read some of your letters on the air and respond to them accordingly.

And we're going to be talking about scarecrows, man.

There's an obscure kind of topic, but yeah, they exist, and I'm going to talk about them.

Up yours!

That's not nice.

And then it's something that I said I won't talk about much, but I have to because I saw some commercials for some

stuff we're going to be talking about fat people forgetting fat and some of the

procedures around losing fat.

That's what I'm kind of gonna be ripping on.

And then we're gonna be talking about drinks

and what happens to drinks

and what they look like when you're not drinking them we're going to be talking

about Gatorade and I'm getting thirsty just talking about it's a let's go it's the

...