Podcast #152: Dwarfs and N-Words

Drunk Ex-Pastors

Christian Kingery

Religion & Spirituality, Comedy

4.7 • 566 Ratings

🗓️ 5 June 2017

⏱️ 115 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

DXP #152 begins with a lesson in political correctness (who knew that the proper term for midgets is not "People McNuggets"?). We then take a series of voicemails on topics ranging from whether pastors need to pay taxes, what kinds of tattoos we have, and what parenting advice we offer. We spend a fair bit of time talking about black people: Do white people think all black people are pretty much the same, or do they differ based on where they live like white people do? Are black people more easily offended than whites? And is it OK to use the N-word in a joking manner (the way Bill Maher did this week). Our "Dick Move, God" segment introduces us to a poor bastard who got an invite to what he was told was a party, but turns out it was hell (easy mistake). And both of our biebers have to do with paper in our hands.

Also, they have black people in Iowa?

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	Okay, so I'm in the middle of a story.
0:04.2	I just got my license and I was in Dana Point on the very top of Stonehill and Golden
0:08.6	Lantern up by the high school.
0:10.1	And I never even occurred to me.
0:11.8	I'd had my car for like maybe, well, I had the car for a little while, but I'd just been
0:16.3	driving for like six hours total.
0:18.2	Yeah.
0:19.1	Whether or not I had gas didn't even occur to me. Because I don't even know where the gas gauge is in this thing. I didn't even look for it. Yeah. You know, it was a 1968 bug. And I ran out of gas at the very top of the hill. Yeah. And it's like a mile down the hill, dude, but I just coasted. Because it's all, nothing is, nothing's automatic. coast into a gas station? Yeah, there's a Chevron or a Exxon or something right at the bottom.
0:40.9	It doesn't matter. but I just coasted because it's all, nothing's, nothing's automatic. Were you a coast into a gas station?
0:37.9	Yeah, there's a Chevron or a Exxon or something right at the bottom.
0:41.0	It doesn't matter.
0:41.4	It's a mobile station.
0:42.0	It's not like you have power steering that you need the engine for. There's no difference. There's no difference. You can just turn the car off and it functions the exact same way as if it's on. So I just coasted in, I'm like, okay, let that be a lesson to me.
0:51.7	Watch for gas, and we'll see if I have any or not.
0:54.2	Yeah.
0:55.2	The reason we're talking about this is because my daughter gets her driver's license. that be a lesson to me. Like, watch for gas and we'll see if I have any or not. Yeah.
1:11.5	The reason we're talking about this is because my daughter gets her driver's license at midnight tonight, basically. We're going to go online and print it up from the DMV. Yeah, Christian's like, I have to take Jonah back to the UW tomorrow. I'm like, dude, make your daughter do it. She's got a license now. That's what she's for. Yeah, it's cool.
1:13.3	It's time for you to start reaping some benefits.
1:14.6	I have a designated driver now.
1:29.3	Yeah. It's cool. It's time for you to start reaping some benefits. I have a designated driver now. Yeah, dude. You can have her, you can have her come pick you up when you're drunk on the side of the road in the gutter. Hey, come get me. This is what I raised you for. I've done my job raising you kids. Yeah. Take care me. And pop the trunk, I got to throw a dead body in there.
1:33.0	You know, kids.
1:33.7	All right.
	...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Previous episode | Next episode

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Christian Kingery, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Christian Kingery and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.