Podcast #129: Happy Birthday, Jesus!
Drunk Ex-Pastors
Christian Kingery
4.7 • 566 Ratings
🗓️ 26 December 2016
⏱️ 90 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Our Christmas episode begins, appropriately enough, with an uplifting breakdown of the story of Rudolph, a tale about a bunch of proto-Nazis whose demand for hegemony is outweighed only by their cold heartless pragmatism (who knew?). We then reminisce about how rad the '80s were, what with the whole Cold War and whatnot. We then take a few calls about religion: Do our bad deeds really make us hell-worthy? Do you have to confess every last sin we commit? And would we prefer God *not* to exist, and if he didn't, what would we do? Our "Feeding Friendsy" highlights the irony of feminists for Trump, while our "Dick Move, God" segment introduces us to a man who's both "after God's own heart" as well as after the king's hot daughter, and he's got a sack of wiener-bits to prove it. Christian is biebered by unwanted residue clouding his eyesight, while Jason's bieber reveals how envious he is of celebrities.
Also, the Island of Misfit Toys is a metaphor for Auschwitz. Seriously.
Transcript
Click on a timestamp to play from that location
| 0:00.0 | Hello, I'm Kevin. And I'm David, and we're here from the Charred Barrel Society, wanting to share with you a little bit about how you can help the drunk ex-pastors. |
| 0:08.6 | Now, we've had a firsthand experience with Jason and Christian, and these guys are in real need, especially Christian, who needs support in order to support Jason. |
| 0:17.4 | One thing they could definitely use is better whiskey. I mean for drinking all the time, |
| 0:21.4 | they sure do keep the makers of fireball in business. The quality of the show depends on the quality |
| 0:26.8 | of their whiskey. I can definitely tell the difference. I mean, the society thinks twice about sharing |
| 0:31.6 | them all the time, knowing that we're going to be honored with a shot of fireball. The reality is |
| 0:36.2 | it's not easy to pay for production, advertising guests, and of course, the alcohol. So with that said, let's tell you how we can help these pastoral has-beens out. First, there's the benevolent sharing capabilities of the inner webs. Share their stuff on Facebook, talk about them, and be sure to leave them a hyped-up review on iTunes. It's huge, it's free, and it helps. |
| 0:55.6 | Call them and leave them your alcohol-infused questions or comments at 213-97 drunk. |
| 1:01.0 | I think you've done that a couple times. |
| 1:02.8 | Hey, don't judge me. |
| 1:04.9 | With the holidays upon us, make sure you use the Amazon link on their website. |
| 1:08.9 | It doesn't cost you anything extra. |
| 1:10.6 | It's just free money for DXP. |
| 1:12.6 | You can always send them a whiskey-related care package via mail by using the address |
| 1:16.4 | P-O-Box 391, Snoqualmie, Washington, 98065. |
| 1:21.5 | Or you can just send them an impersonal but large amount of cash through the PayPal link |
| 1:25.9 | at drunkexasters.com. |
| 1:27.5 | But if you want a most glorious toast made in your honor, support them through Patreon. |
| 1:32.2 | Just visit patreon.com, whack drunkex pastors. |
| 1:35.7 | The Charred Burl Society has been avid listeners for two years now, and we are probably |
| 1:39.8 | the reason for North Carolina people listening to them. |
| 1:42.3 | It's true, but really popular. |
... |
Please login to see the full transcript.
Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Christian Kingery, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.
Generated transcripts are the property of Christian Kingery and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.
Copyright © Tapesearch 2026.