Playing hard to get

All In The Mind

ABC listen

Life Sciences, Health & Fitness, Science

4.4 • 785 Ratings

🗓️ 1 November 2020

⏱️ 29 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Folk wisdom suggests that playing ‘hard to get’ can help you attract a potential partner. But many psychologists have been skeptical about whether it does have an effect in dating. Over the past few years several new studies on the effect have aimed to pin down the rare circumstances where it might actually be effective.

Transcript

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0:00.0	This is an ABC podcast.
0:09.6	Hi, it's All In The Mind on RN. I'm Lynne Malcolm.
0:13.6	And today we're looking at an unusual effect in the world of dating.
0:18.9	ABC science reporter Carl Smith is joining me.
0:22.1	Welcome, Carl.
0:22.9	Hey, Lynn.
0:23.4	Yeah, so I actually wanted to start by setting a scene for you.
0:27.7	Okay.
0:28.8	So imagine you're at a bar or maybe a cafe
0:31.5	and there's someone who catches your eye.
0:34.6	Right, okay.
0:36.0	But then you do something that seems really counterintuitive. Maybe you're looking at your eye. Right, okay. But then you do something that seems really counterintuitive.
0:40.4	Maybe you're looking on your phone, or maybe you're playing around with something else.
0:44.7	You're interested in them, but you try to actively ignore them.
0:48.5	You are trying to control the amount of attention you are directing towards a potential mate.
0:55.0	This is Omri Gillith, Professor of Psychology at the University of Kansas,
0:59.0	and he's describing a situation where you're playing hard to get.
1:03.0	Hmm, not really my style, but I'll keep playing along.
1:07.0	So you might be super interested in someone, you want to date them or you want them to like you and so on,
1:11.9	but you're not giving away too much too soon.
1:15.0	Age-old folk wisdom has taught you why playing hard to get is meant to be effective.
1:20.1	By doing that, you're keeping them wanting more.
	...

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