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Absolutely Not

Pink Tree Problems

Absolutely Not

Dear Media

Heathermcmahon, Instagram, Comedian, Advice, Funny, Callin, Female, Arts, Aperol, Personal572339, Comedy, Entertainment, Hotline, Humor

4.914K Ratings

🗓️ 1 February 2023

⏱️ 62 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

      On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast - Heather is home from a wild weekend of shows in Augusta and Charleston. A woman tried to sit in Jeff's lap, she found a scammer at a hotel valet in Augusta and her to-do list is too long but she's keeping the attitude fresh.... until she fights with a crazy woman who is calls into the hotline to justify keeping her christmas tree up all year. ABSOLUTELY NOT.

 

Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.

 

For a limited time, Starface is offering all Absolutely Not listeners free shipping on your first Micro-Cloud order. Just enter the promo code Absolutely at checkout at Starface.world

 

For listeners of the show, Dips is offering an extended 30-day free trail when you go to DipseaStories.com/absolutely

 

Grab your Liquid I.V.in bulk nationwide at Costco, or you can get 20% off when you go to LiquidIV.com and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout

 

Go to HelloFresh.com/absolutely21 and use code absolutely21 for 21 free meals plus free shipping

 

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Transcript

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0:00.0

The following podcast is a deer media production.

0:06.5

Welcome to the Absolutely Not Podcast,

0:09.2

where we do the most in the least at the same damn time.

0:12.4

I'm your host Heather McMahon.

0:21.2

Hello ladies and gentlemen and welcome to another episode of the Absolutely Not podcast.

0:26.0

I'm your host Heather McMahon.

0:27.8

I've had to re-record this intro about 16 times because every 30 fucking seconds

0:33.4

our battery alarm goes off in the smoke detectors.

0:37.6

And I know we have nest, okay?

0:39.4

I'm not trying to throw the brand under the bus,

0:41.4

but every three minutes, these things you gotta reset the batteries.

0:46.4

I don't know if we got lemons,

0:48.3

but I'm down here, my husband's putting,

0:50.1

we've gone through enough AAA batteries to run a nuclear plant.

0:54.3

And every three seconds, heads up, reset your batteries.

0:59.6

I'm spiraling today. I need to really take up.

1:02.6

We all need to have a moment as that.

1:04.6

I'm not trying to start the podcast off this way with Manic Energy,

1:07.6

but it has been like, you know, some of the,

1:09.9

when you have those days where you're trying to put one foot in front of the other,

1:12.7

you have a laundry list of things you need to get done.

1:15.6

And every time you go to start that one thing,

...

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