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My ex texted me

What?

He did.

Do you remember the one that we talked about?

Wait, wait, your model ex-boyfriend from college got in contact.

Not only that, he watched the podcast. He heard you talking shit. Wait, wait, okay, I'm sorry. You haven't spoken to this guy in an amount of time. I wasn't aware he was still aware of me. Wait, what did he say? He was like, do I need to fight someone? Maybe. Oh my God, I'm too tired for this.

He said, he found it really funny,

but he thought that you had a bit of a problem. What did I do? This means you gotta go fight for me. What did I say? You was making fun that he was a model and that he loved himself. Oh, well, someone's clearly, I touched a nerve there, didn't he? Yeah mad at my friend's future partner because he kept talking about how I was a model. Get a grip... Wait, but we can't say that. Sorry, I activated then. Wait, wait, where did this go? Well... After he'd established how much he hates me. I made some small talk. I was like, how are you doing? How small was the talk?

It was pretty small. Whoa. He did not reply. Well, so he said I watched the episode.

You said, how was it going, buddy? Yeah. And he left you on red. He's left me on red for about

four days. I've been ghosted. Oh wow. I'm sorry.

I was all ready to replace you, Dan.

...