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Perfection.

I found her in the bathroom.

She wore tinfold in her hair, rubber gloves, and a pair of safety glasses.

She leaned close to the mirror, squirting what looked like molasses, into her hair.

What are you doing? I asked.

I'm coloring my gray hairs, she said.

Then she slapped me silly with a laurel box and warned me to never tell a soul what I just

saw.

Well, God help me.

The first thing you should know about my wife, and she will gut me like a fish and let me bleed

on the kitchen floor after reading this, is that her hair is not gray, not even

slightly.

This silver hair she's worried about is actually a faint streak only visible to government

calibrated nuclear nanoscopes.

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