meta_pixel
Tapesearch Logo
Log in
Absolutely Not

Parisian Butter Run

Absolutely Not

Dear Media

Female, Funny, Entertainment, Humor, Instagram, Hotline, Arts, Personal572339, Heathermcmahon, Aperol, Comedy, Comedian, Callin, Advice

4.913.6K Ratings

🗓️ 17 December 2025

⏱️ 75 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

On this episode, Heather is back from her Parisian getaway with Jackie Schimmel. She chats about her very adult gift decisions, how she tried to bamboozle the Hermes sales associate, the French version of Erewohn, and where she wants to travel to next. She takes on your voicemails about grandparents during the holidays,secret santa woes, and of course, Christmas trees people. She then chats about the Bamboozled Tour.


Episode Sponsors:


Find gifts so good you'll want to keep them with Quince. Go to Quince.com/absolutely for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too.


Give the gift of confidence this holiday season with Nutrafol. Whether you’re treating yourself for someone on your list, visibly healthier, thicker hair is the gift that keeps on giving. Right now, Nutrafol is offering our listeners $10 off your first month’s subscription plus free shipping when you go to Nutrafol.com and use promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT.


Go to Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, squarespace.com/ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.


Head over to Addyi’s website — Addyi.com — and see if Addyi is right for you.


You can get an additional 15% off their 90-day subscription Starter Kit by going to fatty15.com/ABSOLUTELY and using code ABSOLUTELY at checkout.


Find Kahlúa Dunkin Caramel Swirl at retailers nationwide, including Walmart, Total Wine, Albertsons, Kroger, Ralphs, Safeway, BevMo, Publix, and more. Must be 21 or older to purchase. Please drink responsibly. For additional information, visit Kahlua.com and follow @Kahlua on Instagram.


Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.


Produced by Dear Media.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

The following podcast is a Dear Media production.

0:06.5

Welcome to the Absolutely Not podcast, where we do the most and the least at this same damn time.

0:12.6

I'm your host, Heather McMahon. I want to start a fire.

0:33.3

Hello, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to another episode of the absolutely not podcast.

0:34.8

I'm your host, Heather McMahon.

0:36.4

How are you? No, really, I'm asking you.

0:41.1

This is a call and response. How are you? We just got through Thanksgiving or cruising into

0:48.0

December. Santa's coming in, I don't know, two weeks, three weeks, and then we're setting our intention for the new year.

0:55.2

But how are you? I hope you're well. I've got so much to catch up with you about. And I want

1:01.9

you to know this is my favorite part of the week. I don't just say that because, you know,

1:06.7

I've got people paying me to say that at Dear Media. I'm not saying that.

1:11.0

This is genuinely my favorite part of the week.

1:14.0

And if you're just tuning into the Absinot podcast and you've never been here before,

1:17.2

I want you to know this is a safe space.

1:19.5

If you're coming off a whirlwind tornado twister of emotions, if you will,

1:25.3

being cooped up with your family for the holidays or you're wrapping

1:28.9

up a crazy Q4 at work. Maybe you're a teacher and the kids are about to get out for holiday

1:36.0

break and you're like, irreverdeche, you little shits. Just know that we all at the Absalom

1:42.5

podcast, listeners, myself included, we're all on Hinge.

1:46.1

We're all unwell, but we do it in a glamorous way.

1:49.6

And by glamour, I mean, when I disassociate, I go to Paris.

1:53.3

And I just got back from Paris.

...

Transcript will be available on the free plan in 6 days. Upgrade to see the full transcript now.

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Dear Media, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Dear Media and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.

Copyright © Tapesearch 2026.