Hello and welcome to this week's episode of Trump Trolls Trump.

You know the drill by now. Somebody keeps using my name without my permission and I won't stand for it.

Well, actually, I don't really have a choice. But that

doesn't mean I can't mock him with a mercilessness he deserves. Today is Saturday, March 28th.

Believe it or not, it has been 432 centuries since, sorry, days since inauguration day.

The beginning of what has been touted as the golden age of America,

yes, we are in it now. We are in it. On Thursday, Donald held a cabinet meeting with his

head-picked television-ready, stable of loyalists. It was supposed to be a policy meeting, but who are we kidding?

It was basically a press event in the style of North Korea. Most of the people sitting in that

table were just there for window dressing while Donald tried to sell the myth that his

war of choice in Iran is going really, really well, not just well,

it's going better than anybody could have imagined. The problem is, well, the problem is that's

the opposite of the truth, although that's never been a stumbling block for him, but Donald also

had a very, very hard time staying on topic. He wandered verbally. He drifted in and out of thoughts as if he were

attempting his weave, but kept forgetting to tie up all the loose ends. Let's watch this clip.

So this pen is very inexpensive, but it writes well. I like it. But I can't have the pen the way it was, you know what it is. I don't want to give too much publicity, but they do treat me well Sharpie. So I came here, they have $1,000 pens. Beautiful pen, ballpoint. Thousand, it was gold, silver, gorgeous, but I'm handing out to kids that don't even know what they're. What is this, mommy? And it had another problem. They didn't write well. There's no ink in the pen, and it costs $1,000. This one, I called the guy. I said, I'd like to use your pen, but I can't have a gray thing with a big ass on it. He said, I'll paint it black. I said, that's nice. And I can even

paint the White House on it, sir, if you like, in gold, almost real gold, not bad. For $5,

I get a much better pen than for $1,000. And I can hand them out. And actually, they become

hot as a pistol. Children in America don't know what pens are.

Thank God he's getting rid of the Department of Education.

Also, it's illegal to promote somebody else's business when you're...

Basically, the leader of the free world, ladies and gentlemen, that was riveting, riveting.

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