One Choice Away: Justin and Trisha Davis on Marriage, Forgiveness, and the Enneagram (Types 8 & 3)

Typology

Ian Morgan Cron

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4.6 • 3.2K Ratings

🗓️ 25 September 2025

⏱️ 49 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Today, we're joined by Justin (8w7) and Trisha Davis (3w2), a couple whose story holds both heartbreak and a hard-won hope. We talk honestly about the Eight–Three dance in marriage—intensity, drive, image, and protection—and how those same strengths can be magic when we're healthy and toxic when we're not.

We also dive into their new book, One Choice Away from Change: Break the Cycles that Hurt Your Relationships and Hold You Back. They remind us that real transformation isn't about muscling through—it's about naming the wound, choosing presence over performance, and practicing honest vulnerability.

Justin shares how confusing help with weakness fueled secrecy and performance—and how grief became a doorway to healing. Trisha reflects on the Three's chameleon move, learning to show up without over-achieving, and a wise reframing of the Enneagram as "not a weapon and not an excuse." Together, they walk us through surviving an affair, pastoring through COVID, late-in-life family revelations, and the truth that forgiveness is not a one-and-done event. Their North Star: when they're healthy, they're magic; when they're not, they're toxic—and daily choices make the difference.

If you've tried to achieve your way out of pain or sprinted past grief because it felt inefficient, this conversation will meet you in the messy middle. We explore relief vs. recovery, acting our way into new feelings, and why you can't heal a wound you won't name. It's tender, practical, and full of hope. I hope you'll tune in.

About our guests

Justin and Trisha Davis are pastors, authors, speakers, and the founders of RefineUs Ministries. They're not perfect. They're not interested in pretending. They are passionate about helping others experience real healing and deeper connection.

Together, they co-authored Beyond Ordinary: When a Good Marriage Just Isn't Good Enough, and Justin's book Being Real > Being Perfect: How Transparency Leads to Transformation is a USA Today bestseller. Justin and Trisha have been married for 30 years, have five kids and live in Indianapolis.

One Choice Away from Change — available wherever books are sold

Justin & Trisha's Website: http://justinandtrisha.com

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey, folks, and welcome to Typology, the show on which we explore the mystery of the human
0:08.2	personality and the human adventure all through the lens of the Enneagram. My name is Anthony Skinner,
0:14.0	your producer and co-host. So happy to have you here today, folks. We've got a great couple
0:19.9	on the show, Justin and Tricia Davis.
0:23.4	They are pastors, authors, speakers, and founders of Refine Us Ministries. They have quite a story
0:30.2	to tell, and we go into detail on both what they went through within their marriage with each other,
0:36.6	the breakup and the reconciliation
0:38.5	of their marriage, and then some other things that happened to them related to some
0:44.4	information they found out about their family. It's quite compelling. They have a lot of
0:51.0	real treasures to offer us today. They're super passionate about helping couples move beyond pretending into real healing and deeper connection.
1:01.0	They've got this book Beyond Ordinary when a good marriage just isn't good enough.
1:07.0	And then Justin's book, Being Real is Greater Than Being Perfect, how transparency leads to transformation, is a USA Today bestseller.
1:16.0	They've been married for 30 years, five kids.
1:18.8	He is an Enigram 8, wing 7.
1:21.3	She is an Enigram 3, wing 2.
1:24.3	And we talk about, you know, some of the challenges they faced, which now they have
1:30.5	the information of their types, a lens to which they can look through with what they've been
1:36.8	through and where they are now. So it's really, really helpful. You're going to love this
1:41.4	interview. I'm so glad you're here. That's it for me, Anthony.
1:45.4	And now, without any further ado, here is The Man of the Hour, Ian Kron.
1:58.7	Hey, typology friends. Welcome back. We are excited today because we have on with us,
2:05.5	Justin and Trish Davis. Now, Justin is an enneagram 8 with a seven wing, Trish, a three with a two wing.
	...

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