Welcome to the Judge John Hodgman podcast. I'm Baylif Jesse Thorn. This week's case,

Oculus Mifft. Matt brings the case against his girlfriend Amber. Matt wants to convert

their master bedroom into a virtual reality room. But Amber would rather keep the bedroom

the way it is. Who's right? Who's wrong? Only one man can decide. Please rise as Judge

John Hodgman enters the courtroom. But Judge John Hodgman was the true obscenity. Judge

John Hodgman had removed his clothes every stitch. They were folded neatly in the empty bird

bath that was at the center of the back lawn. Naked and grass stained. He was crawling along

about five feet behind the lawnmower, eating the cut grass. Green juice ran down his chin

and dripped onto his pangeless belly. And every time the lawnmower rolled around a corner,

Judge John Hodgman rose and did an odd skipping jump before prostrating himself again. Stop,

Baylif Jesse Thorn screamed. Stop that. But Judge John Hodgman took no notice. Baylif

Jesse Thorn, please swear them in. Please rise and raise your right hand. Do you swear to tell

the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth? So help you God or whatever. I do. I do.

Do you swear to abide by Judge John Hodgman's ruling despite the fact that recording this

episode is the only thing standing between me and the Nintendo virtual boy that's just been set

up in the lunch break area of my office? I do. Very well, Judge Hodgman. Matt Namber, you may be seated

for an immediate summary judgment in one of your favors. Can either of you name the piece of

culture that I paraphrased when I entered the courtroom, Amber, you are the defendant, so you can

guess first, or you can choose to make a Matt guess first and maybe gain some information from his

guess. Amber, what is your guess? I'm going to go first. If I'm going to dive into this pool,

I'm going to be the first one to answer. Well done. Brave Canadian soul that you are. I'll do my best.

I think it's the lawnmower man. Okay, we'll put that in. The lawnmower man.

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