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I'm better at putting together the talks than I am at selling them.

So here it goes.

So we're all born with an innate psycho-biological drive to bond with adults around us for care and

support and the most important manifestation of that is the sense that we are being seen in the

eye of the other, that we matter in the mind of our parents, that we register in their consciousness, that

we are being monitored in some way.

When that happens in a reliable way, when that happens in a reliable way where we, the whole job of the infant is to constantly

make bids for attention through various gestures, sounds, cries, movements, eye contact,

and so forth.

The child's infants are constantly issuing bids for attention.

And when they get their bids for attention met in a reliable fashion it creates what's called object constancy.

Object constancy is an important developmental milestone.

It's the sense that a child has that when a mother or father are no longer in sight or in view,

the knowledge that that doesn't mean that the parent has disappeared, that the parent is still available, and that there's a sense that the child still feels cared about and supported.

When children have secure attachment,

...