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Opening Arguments

OA678: Dersh's Sanctions Defense Somehow Keeps Getting Worse

Opening Arguments

Opening Arguments Media LLC

Atheist, Opinion, Harvard, News, Politics, Legal, Law, Liberal, Supremecourt

4.33.7K Ratings

🗓️ 19 January 2023

⏱️ 57 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

It's just so bad and so dumb. Somehow these people are lawyers. Their arguments make T3BE look like a legal master class. Listen in for the hilarious details!

Here are the show notes!

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

As for science versus religion, I'm issuing a restraining order. Religion must

0:07.2

stay 500 yards from science at all times.

0:18.0

Do you have the right to remain an attorney? Did you say that you have the right to be an attorney?

0:24.0

You do have the right to be an attorney if you want to.

0:30.0

It seems absurd to instruct you again that you must tell the truth while you testify.

0:36.0

Yet you're I am. You must tell the truth while you testify.

0:44.0

It's not a pirate. So happens I am a lawyer.

0:48.0

I'm not the kind of lawyer.

0:54.0

Welcome to opening arguments. A podcast that pairs a comedian with a real-life lawyer.

1:00.0

This podcast is sponsored by the law offices of P Andrew Torres LLC for entertainment purposes.

1:04.0

It's not intended as legal advice and does not form an attorney-client relationship.

1:08.0

Don't take legal advice from a podcast.

1:12.0

Hello and welcome to opening arguments. This is episode 678. I'm Thomas. That's Andrew. How you doing my friend?

1:24.0

I am back to being fantastic now. So how about yourself?

1:28.0

You know, you know, I'll tell you a great baby. Fantastic baby. I forget that I,

1:34.0

since I do dear old dads, I forget where I've updated anybody on anything.

1:38.0

Dear old dads is where you can hear more about parenting and all that stuff. But the baby is great.

1:44.0

We got a great baby. You know, that's a role of the dice. That's a you never know.

1:48.0

No, I mean like in terms of collie. Sometimes they're asshole.

1:52.0

Yeah, totally. Totally. No, in terms of how the baby sleeps or how the baby eats or how the baby digests.

1:58.0

There's all these variables that you cannot control.

2:02.0

You can get a baby that's overwhelming and impossible and through no fault of your own obviously.

...

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