4.3 • 3.7K Ratings
🗓️ 9 January 2023
⏱️ 48 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Andrew takes us back into Citizens United to illustrate for the umpteenth time just how glaringly dishonest originalists are, and the rabbit trail takes us all the way to 1910's Montana and elections bought and paid for at $750 a pop.
In the first segment, is Clint Curtis f@cking crazy? Yes. So, despite what Andrew said in a past episode, he will NOT be following up with him. Then, Thomas AND Chat GPT take the bar exam!
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0:00.0 | You're human, barely. I'm a lawyer. |
0:18.4 | I know a lot about the lawn, various other loyarrings. I'm well-educated, well-first. |
0:24.4 | It's a thorny legal issue, alright. I'll need to refer to the case of Finders vs. Keepers. |
0:31.4 | Isn't it true that you have been paid for your testimony? Yes, you gave me a dollar and some candy. |
0:38.4 | And you have been said, well I told you to say, how can any of us trust you? |
0:43.4 | How can you be so sure? Because I was saying to myself, where could he be going? |
0:48.4 | I was saying to myself, where could he be going? Five to seven with that sawdust shotgun. |
0:55.4 | Welcome to Opening Arguments, a podcast that pairs a comedian with a real-life lawyer. |
1:00.4 | This podcast is sponsored by the law offices of P. Andrew Torres, LLC for entertainment purposes, |
1:05.4 | is not intended as legal advice and does not form an attorney-client relationship. |
1:09.4 | Don't take legal advice from a podcast. Hello and welcome to Opening Arguments. This is episode 672. |
1:21.4 | I'm Thomas, that's Andrew Torres. How are you doing, sir? Hi! |
1:26.4 | Just survived the storm apocalypse of Northern California. |
1:31.4 | Yeah, so obviously people don't know we record the last episode a bit early because there was talk of Blizzard. |
1:37.4 | Bob bomb cyclone. Yeah, and it was not that bomb. I got to say it was. |
1:42.4 | It was that this storm left this reviewer cold or not cold enough. No, it was windy, |
1:48.4 | but it was a bit like when in the Australia Simpsons episode, the best one probably of all of them and for my money. |
1:55.4 | When he's like, oh, I heard you have those giant beers here and he put in the bartender, |
2:00.4 | plops down an enormous beer and Homer goes, oh, I guess it's pretty big. |
2:07.4 | You're saying the Australia episode is the best episode of the night. |
2:11.4 | It might be my favorite episode of this. Wow. |
2:13.4 | It's so good. Go back and watch. It is so funny. It is, oh, it's really good. |
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