Good evening. Thanksgiving is always memorable.

But tonight, we're honoring those individuals who go above and beyond to ensure the holiday

is truly unforgettable.

I'm sorry, next category, biggest drunken revelation.

Our first nominee, Uncle Charles, for your old enough to hear this.

I'm Jabra with Red Wine Freestime, and Cousin Lee with Stating the Obvious.

So you're probably all wondering why I haven't met a girlfriend settle down with it.

It's like a girl.

Yes.

T-B-T-L!

Happy Thanksgiving, everybody.

Welcome to a very special edition of T-B-T-L. It is the show that is probably too beautiful

to live.

My name is Luke Burbank.

I'm your host.

I don't know what I'm weighing in today, because you know what, my weight is immaterial.

Because just in a matter of a couple of hours from now, I am going to just, you know, like

they do with the, the, the pate, the animals where they put a tube down their throat and

they just force feed them.

I'm going to do that to myself, and I'm just going to pour gravy down the tube.

I'm going to turn, I'm going to become a human, a human pate.

And I may have my sisters throw, throw a couple of biscuits down the hatch, and then pulverize

...