Alright everybody, we are going to start off this episode with a deep breath. Ready? Breathe in.

Breathe out. Okay, so this intro is maybe a little bit more subtle and calm than you're

used to. And for that reason, I am going to be doing a little bit of a change of pace

here today. I know typically I'm very upbeat and positive and full of energy and I'm

here to give you your 45 to 60 minutes of encouraging words. And I want to be that person

for you, but I feel like this past week especially I've really been struggling with a lot of

things and so for me to sit down behind this microphone and act like I'm feeling one

way and giving you all of this advice, but then actually feeling a certain way in real

life is like very mentally draining for me. I feel a lot of guilt and I feel a lot of pressure.

And I kind of started to open up about this on TikTok yesterday. Just this past week,

I've been trying to record a solo episode. I've been in a funk. I've just really not

been able to do it. And yesterday I sat down to record. I was like, okay, today's the

day I'm going to do it. I'm going on this trip this weekend. I'm going to be behind

on work so I need to catch up. And I did my makeup. I did my hair. I put on an outfit.

And once I fully got ready, I was like, I don't feel good. I thought that this was going

to help me. And if anything, it kind of made me feel worse. And so then I sit down behind

my camera and I'm looking at myself in the preview and I'm just like, how am I supposed

to do an episode today about not liking the city that you live in when really I just

don't even like myself. And like that's what I should really be talking about. So then

I went on TikTok and I said, you know, kind of some of those thoughts that I feel really

conflicted and I feel like I'm kind of living a facade, like a double life. And I'm putting

out one content, but then I'm not actually living it. And so a lot of people were like,

...