Nick Pollard - The Real Cost Of People-Pleasing
ManTalks Podcast
Connor Beaton
4.8 • 591 Ratings
🗓️ 7 April 2025
⏱️ 61 minutes
🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Talking points: relationships, masculinity, mindset, nice guy syndrome
A bunch of you have reached out requesting an interview with Nick, aka The People Displeaser, and I'm happy to say we finally got the chance to talk. Nick's practical, no-nonsense frame is a breath of fresh air. If you're looking for ways to combat your own people-pleasing tendencies—and some really good reasons why you should—this is the episode for you.
(00:00:00) - Is people-pleasing really that bad, and what creates one
(00:08:39) - How “needs” turned into a form of manipulation, and the nuance of privilege
(00:14:15) - Does people-pleasing show up differently in men and women, and what the true cost is
(00:24:59) - Where does a man start dealing with people-pleasing
(00:38:31) - The importance of rejection, and do women play a role?
(00:48:55) - Nick’s hard truths for introverts
(00:54:22) - What you’re going to face when start putting yourself first
Nick Pollard, aka The People Displeaser, is a world-renowned coach and speaker who specializes in addiction, codependent behavior, and people-pleasing. Overcoming his own struggles—a deeply difficult childhood, his own addictive tendencies, and more—he now works tirelessly to support others wanting to break free. With tens of millions views on his social media channels, Nick has become a thought leader in personal growth and change, and now ranks in the top 10% of coaches worldwide.
Connect with Nick
-Website: https://thepeopledispleaser.com/
-YouTube: www.youtube.com/@peopledispleaser
-Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thepeopledispleaser/
***
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Mentioned in this episode:
Self Worth
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | All right, Mr. Nick Pollard. How are you doing, buddy? I'm good, man. Thanks for having me. |
| 0:12.2 | Good, good. Well, I'm glad you're doing well and glad to have you here. I've had some requests to have you on the show. |
| 0:19.8 | Checked out a bunch of your work, loved it. |
| 0:22.1 | So I think it's going to be a great conversation. |
| 0:24.7 | Let's just start broadly, which is, is people pleasing really that bad? |
| 0:29.1 | Is it that bad? |
| 0:30.4 | Is it that bad? |
| 0:32.7 | Yes. |
| 0:33.9 | Right? |
| 0:35.9 | I think when you say that bad, I mean, are there things that could be worse, right? |
| 0:41.6 | And sure, you know, you could be addicted to heroin. |
| 0:44.0 | So I think bad is subjective. |
| 0:46.3 | But when I think through the lifestyle that I led prior to kind of my own self-discovery |
| 0:51.6 | and starting to tackle this piece of being a really nice guy |
| 0:56.5 | and living that kind of pleasing lifestyle. It was filled with a really tremendous resentment and |
| 1:04.9 | a deep personal existential crisis and sadness. And man, you dove right in. |
| 1:12.6 | I don't think I've ever said it that way. |
| 1:15.6 | Something that I've really been working on is getting very real with where I'm at emotionally. |
| 1:22.6 | I've been trying to really understand myself a lot better. |
| 1:24.6 | And looking back on that period of my life, which was a really |
| 1:28.4 | long period. This was not a short period of time, you know, 40 years or so of constantly and |
| 1:37.1 | overwhelmingly giving myself away to everything that wasn't me. I still, to this day, have that |
... |
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