All right, team. Welcome back to the man talk show.

Connor Beaton here. Today, we're going to be talking about how to break the cycle of anxious

attachment. And I'm going to be giving you three very specific things that I have seen work

time and time again for you as an

anxious person to get better results in your relationship, to end the anxious attachment cycle.

So very briefly, anxious attachment, what is it?

I like to say that at the foundation, at the sort of core of an anxious attached person is,

I need you to be okay in order for me to feel safe. I need you to be okay in order for me to

feel safe, in order for me to feel okay, in order for me to feel like I matter or am loved

or that my needs are important.

And it's a kind of chronic worrying and hypervigilance that is focused externally on the other

person. It's almost like if I fixate on you enough, if I focus on how you're feeling enough and I can take care of you and I can take care

of you what you need and what you want and I can make sure that you're okay, maybe that will quell

how I'm feeling internally. Maybe that'll dissipate the anxiousness, the franticness, the panic,

the, you know, the anxiety that I'm carrying

around in my body of like, are we okay? And often, this is a very direct result, pretty much always,

of a family system of having caretakers, of having parents where you needed to protect yourself from that caregiver or parent and that you

kind of were made responsible for their emotional state right so you were made responsible for

mom's emotional state maybe she would punish you anytime that you made her feel upset or you

disappointed her she would start to shame you and made her feel upset or you disappointed her. She would

start to shame you and berate you or belittle you. Maybe you had to take care of a parent in order

to feel safe. You kind of always walking on eggshells. You never knew what you were going to get.

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