New Creature

Net Positive with John Crist

John Crist

Stand-up, Religion & Spirituality, Comedy

4.8 • 1.2K Ratings

🗓️ 17 December 2025

⏱️ 53 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Solving your holiday problems, one joke at a time (with some real advice too)… On the net it’s a positive. ------ JOKES FOR HUMANS TOUR: ⁠https://johncristcomedy.com/tour/⁠ 1/23 Joliet, IL 1/24 Effingham, IL 1/25 Nashville, TN 2/19 Nashville, TN 2/20 Springfield, MO 2/22 Louisville, KY 2/26 Ithaca, NY 2/27 Reading, PA 2/28 Glenside, PA 3/1 New York, NY 3/19 Milwaukee, WI 3/20 Jackson, MI 3/21 Rockford, IL 3/22 Cedar Rapids, IA 3/27 Columbia, MO 3/28 Fayetteville, AR x2 3/29 Little Rock, AR 4/10 Stockton, CA 4/11 Anaheim, CA x2 4/12 Thousand Oaks, CA 4/17 Tucson, AZ 4/18 Houston, TX 5/2 Fort Worth, TX 5/3 Amarillo, TX 5/14 Wilmington, NC 5/15 Evans, GA 5/16 Durham, NC 5/29 Jacksonville, FL 5/30 Asheville, NC 5/31 Columbia, SC 6/4 Mobile, AL 6/5 Florence, AL 6/6 Duluth, GA ----- Catch the full video podcast on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, and follow us on social media (⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@netpositivepodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠) for clips, bonus content, and updates throughout the week. ----- Email us at netpositive@johncristcomedy.com ----- FOLLOW JOHN ON: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Twitter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ----- SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS AG1: Get a FREE gift with your first order at https://DrinkAG1.com/netpositive to get started with AG1’s Next Gen and and notice the benefits for yourself. MIRACLE MADE: Save OVER 40% + 3 free towels with promo code NETPOSITIVE at https://trymiracle.com/NETPOSITIVE MOSH: Save 20% off plus FREE shipping on the Best-Sellers Trial Pack at https://moshlife.com/NETPOSITIVE ----- PRODUCED BY: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Alex Lagos⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ / ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Easton Smith⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ / ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Lagos Creative⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Think about cheese.
0:02.0	Make your thoughts cheesier.
0:04.2	Now add 100% chicken breast fillet, Chipoplae sauce and Ameta cheese melt.
0:08.3	And it's giving the new cheesy chicken stack at McDonald's.
0:12.0	Did we mention it's cheesy?
0:13.9	Cheese.
0:15.8	Availments at the 4th of Jan, 2026 from 11 a.m.
0:18.1	Plus and participation may vary.
0:19.2	Subjects availability.
0:20.1	Fired up, ladies and gentlemen, we're back.
0:22.5	Maybe the tour's over and it's the holiday season. Welcome in, ladies and gentlemen. I'm honored to have you. A little bit of a little fun episode today sponsored by, I guess it's not sponsored by, but from the fans. Yeah. Fan, what is this? This is like the church service where the pastor's out of town and the youth group's leading.
0:39.5	Brought to you by you.
0:41.3	Yeah, the youth group's leading.
0:39.5	Brought to you by you.
0:41.2	Yeah, the youth group's leading.
0:42.5	And it's going to be, I'll tell you this, it's going to be compelling.
0:46.3	You're going to be like, that was wild.
0:47.7	But you're like, let, yeah, the, let's get dad back.
0:51.2	Yeah.
0:51.5	But he's out for the holidays.
0:52.8	Yeah. But he's out for the holidays. Yeah. Yeah. Like it's a, this was a nice little change of pace, but also, okay, that's nice
0:57.7	for once every once in a while. Who are we talking to that? You hopes everything falls apart when you leave? Moms. Oh yeah. We got crushed for that. Yeah. Do you want to address it because we never circle back? No, I don't want.
	...

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