What up, my homie, I'm Lisa Bilyu and this is Women of Impact. Now I, and so many of my girlfriend and women that I know are obsessed with understanding men. Now, whether that's your inner beautiful relationship and you just want to understand them more, or you just keep getting toxic men in your life that end up costing you your peace, your confidence and your sanity all at once. And so I love diving into why men do what they do and understanding the science behind it. For instance, one minute he says he's all in and the next minute he's distant. What the hell is that about? Or you bring up a topic that maybe you're concerned about and he just responds saying that you're just jealous and he ends up flipping out over something tiny. Or he absolutely swears at his laurel but then you can't freaking shake that and have him feeling in your gut. That you don't think he is. And half the time you left wondering if you're overthinking it, or if you're just missing something huge. Like a big red flag that's just whipping you in the face. And knowing those two differences, knowing the difference between the toxic manipulative man and the green flag amazing guy, It can make all the difference did in my life before I dated my husband, I dated and asked, beep, he wasn't nice, he wasn't kind and thankfully I end up leaving that relationship and finding someone amazing. But it doesn't always happen. And so that's exactly why I bought on today's guest, Mac and Murphy. The guy who literally spent years years of his life at Oxford study in attraction attraction infidelity and human mating behaviour. And he's here to finally decode what men actually think about crossing the line, about attraction and everything we've always wanted to know. And guys, he comes in fricking hot. Today we go over the real early signs that a man is likely to cheat so that you actually stop doubting yourself and start trusting what you see right in front of you. We then talk about why the traits you're most attracted to might actually be the ones that are putting you at the most risk so you want to stay for this one so that you don't keep falling for the same damn pattern that we're all likely to. We also talk about how to choose a partner who's actually low risk of infidelity,

so you can actually finally feel safe

instead of always waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Guys, today's episode on my guard, I just kicked out.

There's so many stats and studies,

and so there's a moment where you can fight the truth.

Trust me, I wanted to, I hated some of the things

that this guest told me today,

but I just greeted it with open arms because all I care about is knowing the truth, so that then I have the information so that I can then use that to make different decisions in my life, whether that's with my husband or with a partner or other males in my life. So if you've ever been worried about your partner, if you've ever been wondering what an earth he's thinking, if you're ever concerned that maybe he's going cheat on you or worry that he is cheating on you and if you've swat yourself that you're done and you're never gonna do that again with this episode is for all of you guys. So let's dive in right now with Mac and Murphy right here on Women of Impact. Mac and Murphy, your behavioral scientist and you've spent multiple years at Oxford studying attraction and interdality. So today you're going to be our translator and help us understand everything we've always wanted to know about men and how they actually think. So first, please tell us, knowing human behavior, when a man is cheating, what signs will he start to show? So red flags that someone might cheat on you.

I would say high sociosexuality.

So they're interested in uncommitted relationships.

A lot of people think, oh, you know, like, I'm dating this guy. He's a major playboy. But once he settles down with me, all that's going to kind of go away and we're going to have a monogamous thing. But if you think about it, like, like he loved having one night stands with random women before he met you, right?

He still loves doing that even though he's with you, right?

He's just choosing not to do it. So he's resisting that temptation. That guy is much higher risk for infidelity than someone who doesn't like doing that sort of thing anyway. Like if a guy doesn't like having sex with random women, right? Even when he's single, he's much less likely to cheat because he's probably not going to to do that while he's in a relationship. This is very controversial, but it's very intuitive, right? I mean, there are so many predictive factors here, like there was one study where individuals who were, who stared at an attractive alternative, you know, like wandering eyes, and the ones who stared for a hundred milliseconds less were 50% less likely to cheat. Right. Yeah. That's interesting. Right. So, that's one of those things where, you know, we see that if someone has high extra pair of interest, they are much more likely to cheat. Some people use past partner count as a proxy for this, like, quote unquote, body count on the internet.

That's just the common parlour.

But it's in what, like, the higher blood count of more likely you are to cheat?

Yeah.

So, for example, in a Quivis analysis, individuals who had more than five past partners were

twice as likely to cheat than individuals who had less than five past partners, but

it's almost certainly just a proxy for social sexuality there. It's like how much they like sleeping around.

So it's more likely to cheat? Yes, yes. So dark triad traits that's very good. There's three aspects of the dark triad. There's psychopathy. There's macchi-bellanism and there's narcissism. And there's mixed, but broadly supportive evidence that people high in narcissism are more likely to have affairs. Dark Tried traits like narcissism, that would be a risk factor. And narcissism is tricky

one because a lot of people find narcissism are more likely to have affairs. Dark-tried traits like narcissism, that would be a risk factor. And narcissism's tricky one because a lot of people find narcissism quite sexy because it's confidence or it projects confidence. And then they tend to be well groomed, spend time on their looks. What are the highest personality appearance correlations we have, it's still not very high, is between narcissism and physical attractiveness. So narcissists tend to be better looking because they work more on their looks.

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