My Mom Didn’t Let Me Suck Her Tits, So I Became a Bear

Distorted View Daily

Tim Henson

Comedy Fiction, Improv, Fiction, Comedy

4.8 • 1.1K Ratings

🗓️ 20 June 2025

⏱️ 47 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

On Today’s Show: 🕹️ Sonic Fans Must Be StoppedMeet Sammy, the Classic Sonic Fan, who flips his shit over Sonic criticism, Capcom laziness, and the injustice of disabled YouTube comments. A 16-bit rageball wrapped in autism and nostalgia. 📱 T-Mobile CEO UnhingedTim plays a clip from a press conference where the head of T-Mobile drops […]

The post My Mom Didn’t Let Me Suck Her Tits, So I Became a Bear first appeared on Distorted View Daily.

Transcript

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0:00.0	The following is an encore presentation of Distorted View Daily.
0:05.8	Experience the magic of reruns.
0:09.7	I feel it in my fucking con.
0:11.8	Feel it in your con.
0:18.8	Coming up on today's episode of Distorted View Daily,
0:22.5	one lucky listener will win an assortment of amazing prizes,
0:26.3	including Armitron Classic Character Watches,
0:29.5	featuring Snoopy, Garfield, Bugs Bunny, Barbie, and more.
0:33.8	The fun fashion statement for your wrist, Armitron, America's Watch.
0:38.3	It's the strata scooter with BMX style handlebar and the XB Series skateboard for the more daring.
0:44.8	Both in hot colors or graphics.
0:47.0	And it's from Veriflex.
0:49.5	It's resin tells an extra luggage collection.
0:52.2	It's a fun and inexpensive escape from traditional luggage.
0:55.0	Single-shell molding and rugged construction contemporary design
0:58.0	from Resentel.
1:00.0	It's the Conica A4 camera, a full-featured fully automatic 35 millimeter.
1:06.0	It's pocket size and lightweight, make it the world's smallest compact available.
1:14.2	It's the new DP Air Gomelior.
1:18.0	It's organized by for a total excuse-proof workout at home.
1:28.2	You're currently stuck in the middle of another distorted view.
1:31.4	Test of patience.
	...

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