Thanks for listening to my call of the day podcast. You can hear my live radio program Monday through Friday from two to five PM Eastern time on serious XM triumph 11. Julie, welcome to the program.

Thank you for talking to me. I hope I can explain my situation.

Good enough. I, me and my husband have been married for 14 years and he's a wonderful man. He's loyal and true and worked hard and but we've kind of been going through a rough patch the last little bit and he wrote me a letter about a month ago and just kind of talking about some of the things that bother him or marriage and

I knew there were some things I needed to work on. Like what things that you like, like just treating him better and being when he comes home from work, just being happy and not frustrated because I'm making dinner and doing all these other things.

I just wasn't a happy person for him to come home to and I, and I knew that. And since he gave me that letter a month ago, I've been a completely different woman.

And I think if you asked him that, he would, he would say that like I've completely different like I, I've been trying to be grateful and happy and complimentary and

just building him up. I think I've been sexy. Oh, yeah, that's sexy. Thank you very much. Just checking. All right.

And but then a couple two nights ago, he, he let me know that he's been struggling our whole marriage with this high school girlfriend. He can't get, can't get her out of his mind and he doesn't like it. It's not like he dwells on it and love it.

He, he'll have dreams about her and then he can't get her out of his mind and he, and it's, it's just really bothering him and it kind of broke my heart to hear that that this whole time he's, he's, you know, I don't know if obsessed is the right word, but I just want to know what if you think like I just want to save our marriage.

Do you have any pictures of any of the guys you went to high school with? Yeah, sure. Good. Pull one out the best looking guy and say, well, since you opened up to me, I'm going to open up to you.

Look at him. He is hot and we were in high school together and I got to tell you that still ripples in my head. I want you to do that.

Okay. Okay. With a big smile, not like, na, na, na, na, na, like I got you back, but just since you opened up, you know, okay, fantasies. We had, we look back and we think, jeez, life is tough.

When you become an adult, life is tough. Having these fantasies about high school sweethearts is sure a good escape from life is tough. Right.

That's my fantasy. I used to fantasize about him all the time. Because it's an escape from being a grown up being in life is tough problems.

This is what I would be telling him. He's not hungering for her. Okay.

That represents total innocence and just fun and nice and easy. No problems. Okay. Okay. That's all it represents. No, it's quiet.

It doesn't mean he doesn't love you. It doesn't mean he wants to trade you in for her. It means that he's having trouble being a grown up. Okay.

And if I stay on this track of being the woman that he don't ask me future, I do not have a crystal ball. Don't do that.

I don't know how mature your guy is. He could walk out and do something stupid. I have no clue. I don't know how mature he is. There's some immaturity with this. There's some immaturity doing this. There's some immaturity telling you about it. That was cruel.

So I'm not liking him a lot right now. You may love him because you've known him longer. I haven't known him at all. But I don't like him a lot right now because he was willing to hurt you.

I know because he's having trouble dealing with real life. So yeah, you stay the course of what you're doing, but I want you to take out a picture and say all the things that I just said. It's fun to go and think God, everything would be so simple if I were with him. No, it wouldn't be just like what we're going through.

It's different guy. It's life. But it's fun to think we were just happy and silly and you sneak out and you neck and you have a little wine and you do all this fun stuff, little beer, you know, sure it's an escape from being an adult. But unfortunately we ultimately can't really escape from being an adult.

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