Welcome back to the basement yard. It is Monday, March 7th. And I'm officially a father now. Yesterday I got my dog from the airport.

Jesus Christ. This is literally like I had a baby. This is literally it's literally the same thing. Wow, my voice cracked too. Look at this. I have a kid and my voice is cracking.

Fuck, everything's backwards, but um, and relax. I know parents are listening to this and are going, dude, you have no idea, baby. So I know it's different. I'm kidding around relax.

But um, yeah, man, uh, the dog came in and I was scared. I was so skeptical because first of all, my girlfriend told me that her brother one time bought a dog, paid for it over the internet and then the neck and then when he went to go pick it up the airport, the airport was like, dude, what?

I have no order for a dog and he got he got scammed, skamed or whatever else robbed. I don't know. So I was like, oh God, I hope that doesn't happen to me. Don't be a disaster. That would ruin me.

I really would have ruined me, but um, no, I went to the airport. It's a LaGuardia airport. AKA the most piece of shit airport in the United States. LaGuardia airport. It's in a story. Um, and actually, I think that's an East Elmer. But whatever.

So I went to LaGuardia and they have a big ass Delta building, which is what my dog was flying in from. He was flying Delta. So I go to Delta and I walk in. I'm like, I was looking around for the cargo pickup place.

And I'm like, hey, where's the cargo pickup in here? And the guys are like, oh, no, we move that all the way to the other side of the airport. And I'm like, not, I mean, why would you have the Delta cargo pickup in the big fucking Delta building?

The guys like, no, no, no, we put that nowhere near this building that has this the fucking airport air airplane. Uh, fucking what's the word airlines name on it. We don't have it in this building. We move that shit completely as far away as we could. And I was like, all right, fine. So I had to go over to this other place.

And I walked in to the pickup and it's really like a, it's so weird. You would think you ever see in movies where they're like a truck pulls up to like this elevated thing like in the back of a building. And they're just like tossing.

I don't know boxes of like food or some shit in like whatever. That's exactly what this place looks like. And I'm like, they're throwing my dog around like this. But anyway. So I walk in. I give it. I'm like, here, I made a pick up my dog.

I'm a dog. Um, blah, blah, blah. She's like, all right, give me your ID. Give me my ID. Then she turns around to this file cabinet and she starts rummaging through tons of papers looking confused. And already in my mind, I'm like, it's fake. It's a scam. It never existed. The dogs fake. I'm like, a dog. I'm out. What was he? It was like, I think it was like $1,800.

I was like, God damn it. I just lost $1,800. Whatever. But no, she gave me a paper. She's like, I'll just go around the side and they'll give it to you. So I go around the side and I walk up a ramp. And there he is. There's like a room with where they put all the cargo and Charlie is just sitting in his crate, barking his ass off.

As he sees me walks up, as he see me, has he sees me walk up the ramp, get it together, Joe, as he sees me. And he shit everywhere. There was shit all in his crate. I was like, oh my God. I picked the crate up. I'm like, wow. Okay. This thing's full of shit. This is full of shit.

Which is terrible, man. I feel bad. That means he was in there for so long that he's like, dude, I got a dump. But I know I'm not supposed to dump in here. But he dumped, took a big shit and he stepped in it. Oh, God. But he's the fluffiest thing. He's so fluffy. If you like grab him and hold him, he's so skinny because he's a puppy. Obviously, he's only 10 weeks old.

He's so skinny, but he has so much hair. So he looks bigger. But yeah, man. So I'm in the car on the way home. I'm in the backseat. My brother's driving. And

he's I'm like, wow, that fucking stinks. And I want to say hi to the dog, but I also don't want him to step all over the car with shit all over his hands. Then I couldn't take it. I was like, fuck it. Go ahead. Shit on me. So I went up the crate, the crate, and he jumped on me. And, yeah, he put shit all over my shirt. And it was dope.

So yeah, then I brought him home and me and my girlfriend gave him a bath, got all this shit off of them. But I made it. I was like, she was like, oh, you want me to get in the bath? I'll hold him so we could clean him whatever. And I was like, yeah, sure.

So she gets in there and she's holding the dog. And then I realized, I'm going to have to soak you. There's no way that you're not going to get wet. So I just gave him both a bath, basically.

I was putting the dog shampoo in his hands and spraying her and him. It was a fucking disaster. It was nice though. He was a good boy. He didn't squirm. He was just kind of taking it. He was just like, fuck, just one more thing. I took a plane here. And now these people are spraying me with water.

But then he parked up. He was eating a lot. He would have thought they never fed this thing ever. Even though they did. He looks great. He's very healthy.

Taking him to the vet tomorrow. Actually, so we'll find out how healthy he is. But, yeah.

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