My Common Yammerings
Psychology In Seattle Podcast
Kirk Honda
4.6 • 1.2K Ratings
🗓️ 2 January 2023
⏱️ 41 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
January 2, 2023
00:00 My Common Yammerings
02:34 What is important to remember about relational traumas and schemas?
07:13 How can we properly attend to those we care about?
09:32 How can we manage conflict?
25:30 Should you become a Patron?
30:54 What is pathological optimism?
33:03 Does trauma excuse behaviors?
39:16 OPP
40:17 What subtle things are considered abuse?
41:29 What was one of Dr. Kirk's aha moments about BPD?
47:05 Should we just lie?
55:31 Are sociopaths rare?
56:05 Do we mirror behavior seen in childhood?
56:15 What's normal in emotions and relationships?
57:50 Should you go to therapy?
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hey, deserve listeners. It's that time of year again, where I get a chance to |
| 0:04.3 | answer all your emails. I'm trying to do that at the end of the year here, beginning of the year. |
| 0:11.0 | So let's get to it. This first email is from Abby from Finger Lakes, New York. She sent me an email. |
| 0:19.9 | She said a number of things to email, but one of the things she said was she says she often will |
| 0:25.3 | carry with her my 10 things that I often will say. And she listed them off. And they were |
| 0:32.4 | like a bullet pointed list of things that I frequently will talk about. And little notions or |
| 0:39.6 | advices that I will give out. And when I read this list, it was so weird to see a list of my |
| 0:48.9 | belief system in a summarized form listed back to me. Because for me, I'm just sort of yammering |
| 0:56.9 | and talking about all sorts of things. And I've never really sat down and listed the foundation |
| 1:02.3 | of my approach or how I see things. I mean, I certainly can summarize in an academic clinical way, |
| 1:09.2 | my theory, if you will, my integrative theory. But that doesn't really encapsulate the themes that |
| 1:16.0 | I think I often talk about. Because when I when I read this bullet pointed list, it wasn't really |
| 1:20.0 | tied to any kind of theory. It was just these things that I often will recommend people think about |
| 1:24.9 | and will give advice about. And so it got me thinking about like, what are these things that I'm |
| 1:30.7 | frequently talking about? Because if I just thought about things that I try to push and talk about, |
| 1:38.9 | it probably wouldn't align with the actual things that I yammer about most often. It's sort of like |
| 1:45.6 | when I'm, you know, people will watch videos of mine and they will say, you know, you should have |
| 1:51.8 | a merch, you should have a t-shirt that says this thing that you frequently say. And suddenly I |
| 1:56.9 | realized, oh, I say that phrase a lot. I didn't even notice that, right? So it was sort of like that. |
| 2:03.9 | So I asked Abby if she could provide a more elaborate list because the first list she sent was |
| 2:10.5 | kind of brief. And so she sent more elaborate list. And so I actually took that list and kind |
| 2:17.7 | of rearranged it into some themes. And so I thought I would go over that. And let's let's see if |
... |
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