Murder on the Barking and Dagenham Express feat. Gareth Dennis

TRASHFUTURE

Comedy

4.6 • 851 Ratings

🗓️ 15 February 2022

⏱️ 63 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Gareth Dennis (@GarethDennis) of Rail Natter returns to our hallowed halls to talk about, among other things, the decision to put the capital’s transport network into “managed decline,” so we can enjoy the standards of infrastructure currently only available to exotic places like “Italy” or “Quebec.” Also, a Foxtons for the Metaverse. Check out Rail Natter here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCzA-8fUrw2C5cRcP9gO5BwA If you want access to our Patreon bonus episodes, early releases of free episodes, and powerful Discord server, sign up here: https://www.patreon.com/trashfuture *LIVE SHOW ALERT* We will be doing a live show in London on Wednesday, March 2. Get your tickets here! https://www.designmynight.com/london/whats-on/comedy/trashfuture-live-pre-election-christmas-spectacular *MILO ALERT* Milo has a bunch of live shows this month in both London and Prague. Check them out here: https://www.miloedwards.co.uk/live-show *WEB DESIGN ALERT* Tom Allen is a friend of the show (and the designer behind our website). If you need web design help, reach out to him here: https://www.tomallen.media/ Trashfuture are: Riley (@raaleh), Milo (@Milo_Edwards), Hussein (@HKesvani), Nate (@inthesedeserts), and Alice (@AliceAvizandum)

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hello, everyone and welcome to T.F. I've been handed a bulletin.
0:19.1	Bit of it. Be fresh off the presses. Yeah. This is, now this is a very recent bulletin. It'll be fresh off the presses, yep.
0:22.8	This is, no, this is a very recent bulletin.
0:24.5	It's from four hours ago.
0:26.4	Crescent a Dick, the beleaguered officer in charge of the Metropolitan Police in London, has said,
0:33.3	I will not be forced out as Met Chief.
0:36.5	However, the comic timing division of our news organization,
0:41.9	our Stringer, our Stringer who's wearing clown makeup and tumbling towards me, has handed me
0:46.8	another bulletin and honked his nose seven minutes ago. Sorry, this is an updated bulletin.
0:51.8	Met Police, Chief, Crestcida Dick to step down.
0:55.4	Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye.
0:57.8	I got to change my fucking Twitter name now.
1:00.4	Yeah, you are now Crescenta Girl Dick looking for work.
1:03.5	That's right. I mean, that's genuinely, like, huge news because she knew where the bodies were buried for, like, years and years and years.
1:10.2	She's, like, consummate insider insider, like to the point where when she like stepped away from the Met for a couple of years to go to like a direct to level position at MI6,
1:21.6	everybody in like UK media just kind of collectively closed their eyes and pretended not to notice.
1:29.0	So now we've,
1:34.6	now we've had a little like palace coup. That's, that's very, very interesting news. And look,
1:39.5	like every British palace coup, where someone in charge of a police coup, yeah,
1:45.6	police coup, of course, thank you. As you're waggling your eyebrows theatrically. Absolutely. I have a spinning bowtie on.
1:46.8	Yeah, that's right.
1:49.6	You're spinning like the police bowtie thing.
	...

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