The following podcast is a deer media production.

Another week, another episode, another fucking crevasse on my forehead.

Now, I am an ambassador of self-love, self-esteem, self-delusion and self-confidence.

So I'm not going to go into a full monologue about what's happening on my forehead.

But I need everybody to know it truly can only be compared to that of the

Appalachian mountain trail.

Now, do I know where the Appalachian mountain trail is?

Not really, but it is dry.

It is rosacea undertones for days and it is cracking at the seams.

Drinking water, not my forte.

Really trying, trying so fucking hard.

I even bought one of those pathetic little bottles that that gives you positive

affirmations the more you drink and it's like a gallon.

It's never going to fucking happen.

The other morning, I was like, you know what?

I'm going to be Jessica Alba and I'm going to drink 5,000 cases of water a day.

And when I tell you I barely even like I barely consumed three ounces,

it was absolutely tragic.

And by the way, I've been hitting up TikTok just from a distance.

I do not have a TikTok profile.

I love that I'm going on seven weeks of quarantine and I still have not

caved into the TikTok life because I just can't do it.

...