Hi everyone, it's your best friend, Sarah. Let's go to some voicemails!

Hey Sarah, my name is Uma, I'm from Israel. Next year I'm moving to Connecticut for a program where I volunteer at one of the Jewish communities, and a lot of people who live in the US told me that Americans tend to not say what they really mean or think.

And human Israel, as you may know, most people are very direct and honest. So I was wondering, what advice can you give in Israel? It's going to be talking to a lot of Jewish American adults. Thank you so much, I adore you and the podcast, sending love from Israel.

Hi, I would say change nothing. There is no reason to conform or contort yourself into a more closed, less direct person.

Or into someone that you think they will find palatable. Being with them might change you in ways that may surprise you organically, and them being around you just as you are will open their eyes as well.

That's the point of different kinds of people coming together. The point is just that to be to grow and to be changed by each other. I know you're all Jews, but you know, American Jews and Israeli Jews are like very different. All right, good luck. What else?

Hi, Sarah. My name is Amy from Western New York. I have a question. I've been dating this woman for a couple of months now. We have a great time together, laugh a lot, have a lot in common.

Definitely the best person I've ever been with. But recently she told me that she doesn't want the title of having a girlfriend.

She was the one who first told me that I was her girlfriend and she was telling people that she had a girlfriend and such.

But now wants to take a step back. She's currently living at her ex girlfriend's house and bouncing between that and her mothers.

But it doesn't seem to be in the right mindset to have that title kind of taken me back a little bit. So I'd like to hear your thoughts on that and trying to be understanding about it.

She also told me that we can't just go on dates. But when I have multiple days off in a row at home, she is more than willing to come out and hang out.

So I'm a little confused. I love to hear your input. And here, would you have to say about this?

It's a tough one. And ultimately you have to see what works for you within what works also for her.

I don't know if you've talked about being monogamous or if you are monogamous or if you were monogamous and that's what she wants to take a step back from.

And that's not really clear. And you know, she's saying with her ex girlfriend, I don't know if that's like their completely just friends or if that's a red flag.

But she has been clear with, it sounds like she's being clear with you. If not, you should ask for clarity.

Yeah, it's a shot to the heart and a shot to the ego for sure. But she's being clear about what she wants and doesn't want.

And really all you can ask and you got to respect it. Doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. Doesn't mean it doesn't suck.

But this is what is.

I wouldn't try to negotiate around it. It's not going to serve you.

That said, you should be open to dating others because you two maybe don't want the same things long term.

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