Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr and it's the Monday morning podcast from Monday, August 24th, 2015. What's going on? How are you?

How's it going?

A lovely end of August for all of you. Don't fret. Don't fret with the global warming. We'll have summer weather until like October. Then we'll have epic fucking snowstorms.

Then then a swarm of mosquitoes signaling that we're going winter to summer, winter to summer. That's how it works now. I don't know why. I don't know if it's because that's the natural cycle.

You know, that's right. The history of the world. The earth has gone through cooling off and heating up parents.

There's that argument and then there's the other argument where you think too many Qtps, the flushed out of the toilet. It is choking all the macro.

You know, and we're causing it. Stop putting hairspray on your pubes.

I have no idea why. All I know is this towards the end of the summer. This is when I get excited for football and baseball all at the same time because the games are starting to fucking matter.

It just sucks my team's like 12 and a half fucking games out. Before we get into any of that shit, let's talk about the number one controversy in the fucking country. My weight loss.

Now as you know, as of July 5th, the internet went crazy. When they heard that I was quitting drinking. There was a backlash and whatever.

I quit drinking on July 5th. I was about a buck 87, a buck 88. I was going to get down to those lose three pounds a week over the next whatever the fuck that is.

Whatever that comes out to like eight weeks or so. And I was going to get down to 162. And I was going to have a flat stomach. And I was going to have abs and people are going to love me.

Right. So what happened the first two weeks I went great. 186 down to 183 183 down to 180 right on schedule. Then I went to fucking Montreal and I got my ass kicked. I did. I went on the road.

I didn't lose any weight. I didn't get any weight. Stayed at a buck 80. So I was 21. Week three down to buck 77 week four down to a buck 74 week five down to 171. Now this week. All right. So I'm five and one.

Five and one. Oh, Billy fat tits. Turn in the bus around driving away from the bakery. And over to the sell it. So this week I needed to be 168.0.

To be six and one and have a commanding lead in the AFC East of pasty tits. Right. And this week I weighed in at 168.8.

Oh, big time loss. Oh, 61 would have looked so good on the calendar. Now I'm five and two. I did great up until last night. And my wife had somebody in town that we both knew.

You know, they're going to do business or whatever. And I knew this person sort of business and friends. So we went out.

I went down to the rainbow room on sunset. And I had two old duels. I mean, those have to be of all the empty calories out there.

Those have to be the emptiest of them all. And then I had two slices of pizza. It did that around 10, 11 o'clock. And at my age, that's enough to fuck you over.

And so whatever. So next week I got to be down to 165. I don't know how the fuck I'm going to do that. That's almost four pounds. Probably not going to happen. I might have to adjust my goal to 166.

In fact, I think I'm going to we'll just say 166 because that'll be 2.8 pounds. Right. So rather than me getting discouraged by not making 165 will be psyched to be 166. And I know what you're thinking like Jesus Christ bill. That's like when they give every fucking

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