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Monday Morning Podcast

Monday Morning Podcast 8-2-11

Monday Morning Podcast

All Things Comedy

Comedy

4.734.1K Ratings

🗓️ 2 August 2011

⏱️ 77 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Posted in PodcastPlay AudioBill rambles about Montreal, Nice Girls vs Whores, and Motherly instinct. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcript

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0:00.0

Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burn. It's the Monday morning podcast for Monday, August

0:07.1

1st. Oh my God, Stacy, where is this summer going? 2011. If you hear a sound in the background

0:18.5

that sounds like a weed, that's because that's exactly what it is because I am recording

0:24.5

the Monday morning podcast on Monday morning, 1039 West Coast time, which for most of you,

0:31.4

it's all the way into the afternoon. So I apologize for being a little bit tardy, but I was

0:37.5

flying back from Canada yesterday. Oh, Canada, we have homeless people too. And a bunch

0:50.6

of drug addicts. And I saw a story about a random stabbing. I don't fucking know

0:58.0

why Michael Moore makes that play seem so fucking nice. I don't know the rest of the song

1:05.7

go. It's from far and wide. Oh, Canada, it looks like Idaho. Go fuck yourselves. You're

1:17.1

not as happy as that fat bearded cunt says you are the only difference between your place

1:24.1

and fucking Bose, Boise, Idaho, which you know what a dasher is. Yeah, yeah, that go fuck

1:30.3

yourself. And I may believe I had a great time up there. I was doing the Montreal Comedy

1:36.8

Festival, Jimi Pilgion, Cometelli, Vol, Travienne, we yeah. I had an awesome time and I ate

1:45.1

right. I worked out and I for the first time, I lost a couple of pounds while on the road.

1:53.4

Why you ask because I finally figured out how to eat on the road. And you guys out there,

1:59.9

you guys out there salesman, you know, kiss the wife and family goodbye. You take off

2:04.3

on the road. You become that other guy, start banging some skanks, right? Take the wedding

2:09.7

ring off. You know, you push it through your right ear and you go out and blow somebody

2:14.5

in the steam room. What the fuck? Um, anyway, sorry, I'm a little punch drunk. I didn't get

2:26.1

a lot of sleep yesterday and then I Tylenol PMed myself. You know, I'll drugged out in a

2:33.9

nice deep slumber and all of a sudden my stupid dog starts waking me up. My dog absolutely

2:39.9

fucking went from hating the crate to loving the crate and now it fucking hates it again.

...

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