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Monday Morning Podcast

Monday Morning Podcast 7-7-14

Monday Morning Podcast

All Things Comedy

Comedy

4.832.8K Ratings

🗓️ 7 July 2014

⏱️ 72 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Bill rambles about boxing vs UFC, your buddy wearing a skirt and the best part of being a kid.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr and it's the Monday morning podcast from Monday, July 7th, 2000 of what?

0:08.4

Hey, how's it going? How are you? Are you driving to work? Are you already at work? Are you in your cubicle? Are you fucking off?

0:15.8

Are you bringing this country down by not doing your share of the workload today?

0:21.0

Well, who gives a shit if you work for somebody else? The fuck do you care? I mean, whose dream is it really? Is it yours?

0:27.7

I don't think it is. It's not your dream. It's their dream. You know, what kind of office did you dream about as a child?

0:35.2

You had a fucking door. The walls went all the way up to the ceiling. You know, you went in the middle of a fucking room, you know, with a four foot wall

0:47.1

surrounding you on three sides, completely vulnerable. Anybody who went to West Point can tell you right now that that is not a safe position and that you need to move.

0:56.6

You need to move to higher ground.

0:59.6

I don't want to get involved in all of that crap. It's a wonderful weekend that July 4th weekend, the celebration of the independence of this wonderful nation.

1:09.6

Did you guys go to a parade? What did you do? Did you get hammed and watched some fireworks?

1:15.6

I actually one of my favorite things to do out here in Los Angeles is on July 4th. How everybody just shoots fireworks, whatever the fuck they want to.

1:25.6

Me and my wife and some friends every year, we just go up on the roof of my house and we just sit there and we watch.

1:32.6

Unfortunately, none of my neighbors shoot any off. It's always a couple blocks away and then just all the way across L.A.

1:38.6

We just just watch it. I always try to take a video, but the cell phone just doesn't it doesn't do it justice.

1:45.6

There's like a mall. I don't know how far away it is. I don't know, three to five miles away. They actually have one.

1:56.6

So right as we're getting on the roof, they're usually getting to their finale because people bring their kids to the mall.

2:02.6

One of those fucking malls that has a trolley that drives around it.

2:07.6

And they play like Tony Bennett and Sinatra and everybody feels like, you know, like they're a winner. Is it walking in and out of the gap?

2:16.6

Look, be a lady tonight. Never let her out of my sight.

2:24.6

Hey, do you think these overalls look good on me? I don't you put them on you fucking tub of shit.

2:33.6

Who is overlaw? If you're not growing food, if you're wearing overalls, if you're not in an early 90s R&B band, you're basically wearing it because that's what your stomach feels comfortable in.

2:44.6

You know, it's like it's like you're pregnant as a guy.

...

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