Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr and it's the Monday morning podcast from Monday, July 14th, 2014. Oh my God, you guys, where is this summer going?

The wing.

I can't wait for the winner. I like the winner. I enjoy it. Okay. I'm a pasty. Fuck. There's nothing. The summer offers nothing for me.

Okay. Either I'm outside with that look on my face, you know, that little e-moi joy, whatever the fuck you call it.

It's got that look on his face. Like it's going, you know, that face. What is it called? The emoji.

Where it's like, that's the look I have on my fucking face when I walk around between May and August.

And, you know, I'm telling you right now, all those theories about what's going to kill off redheads, recessive genes. It's going to be global warming.

That's what it's going to be because I got to tell you if these summers get any hotter. Right. I've been a new, I'm in New York City right now.

I got a benefit tonight and tomorrow out in Brooklyn. And, you know, it's a benefit that type of shit.

Can't keep doing that out there. I don't know what it is. All right. I fucking just woke up and I got a knock this thing out because I got shit to do today.

And, I got to tell you, I haven't been here in New York in a while and it's been, it's definitely been cool to be back here.

But I got to tell you, this city just beats the shit out of you. I was returning this rental car this morning.

You know, literally it was like fucking nine streets up and two blocks over. That took me a good 40 minutes trying to find a gas station. Right.

I said to the lady in my phone, you know, where's the gas station? She's like, there's a gas station right down this tree. Right.

So, I follow her. I go all the way down there and there's a fucking, you know, I don't know, I don't know what they're doing.

They're scrubbing out the gas tanks. So that thing screwed. So then I asked the lady again, she's like, there's over 15 right near you.

So I click on the closest dot. I drive to that one. That one takes me like another 15 minutes to get to. I get to that one. It's got a fence around it.

And, oh, was red face going through the roof of this rental car? I did not handle it like an adult whatsoever. I just cock, suck your mother fuck.

Like a big baby, big stoop like if they had like adult size pacifiers, somebody should have just shoved one right in my mouth, slapped me on my fucking hand and said,

Hey, cool it. You know, like my dad used to, right? No pacifier. He always said cool it. Or he snapped really loud. Just like that. We all just stopped worrying that he's going to kick the shit out of us.

Never did. Never lay the hand on us. But how loud his snap was you could only imagine is fucking fist. So you shut up. You shut the fuck up because back in the day when you could discipline kids, right?

You could beat the shit out of him right in public and people would walk by. Now it would be it. So your father's threats were actually something serious.

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