Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr and it's the Monday Morning Podcast for Monday, June 10th, 2013. Happy Birthday to me. Happy Birthday to me. Happy Birthday to you, Red Cunt. Happy Birthday to me.

Yeah, what's going on? Sorry, just yelled there. I'm excited. This is the first time I've been doing, I've been doing this podcast for six years and not once has the podcast and God's ever graced me with the podcast that actually fell on my birthday.

And I'm going to go out on a limb here and I'm going to say despite the fact that there were over 7458 podcasts on my street alone that I am the first podcaster to have a host of fucking podcast on his birthday.

I'm putting that out there. All right. You can go wiki pitiate, Google it or do whatever the fuck you want to do with it. I'm telling you, I'm the first one who ever did it.

These other guys and women who said that they did it, they're just talking. All right, that's just talk over there. I'm actually fucking doing it.

So I don't want you thinking right now. You're like, well, Bill, it's your birthday. First question, everybody asked, how old are you now? I'm 45.

Let me tell you something about the fives for all you youngsters out there. It's not the ones. It's not the twos. It's not the sevens. It's the fives. The fives get you. You know what I mean?

25. You know, 24 kind of scares about 25 fuck. Here we go. Sliding in the 30. You know, that's when you're right on top of the fence there. Right.

The fucking Berlin wall, you know, which way am I going to fall free side or the country side. Right.

Aging is like, it's like reverse progress. So you would actually when you get to the fives, you fall back over into fucking post-World War II.

I guess from now until forever, it's going to be post-World War II, Bill. What you know what fuck I'm talking about whenever they put up that goddamn wall. Why did they put it up? They put it up during a Kennedy.

Was it in 1948? Who's that Israel? I don't fucking remember. 35 was a bitch. They all suck. I'm not going to lie to you. They all suck. But 35 was a bitch. And now 45. I mean, I'm sliding into 50.

Does that even make sense? I'm still doing pull ups. How can I be 45 when I'm still doing pull ups? That doesn't make any fucking sense.

Because when I was a kid, old people, nobody actually nobody worked out when I was a kid. Nobody's straight. Like I've never seen my dad try to touch his toes my entire fucking life.

I never seen him do a jump in Jack. I never saw any of his friends. None of them. They just rolled out of bed, you know.

Sat on the side of the bed for a second, going, oh Jesus Christ. I'm tired. And then they get up, brush your teeth, take a shower, put on some clothes, have bacon and eggs and go out to work.

You know, and then they fucking come home. They walk through the door and be like, all right, all right, call it.

Everybody would shut the fuck up and then they'd sit down and they eat their fucking beef stew. And then they go in the living room. They'd sit down in their chair.

Fucking tired. What would you do today? I'm tired. Okay. All right, just go to your room. Go to your room. You know, and they'd watch a little bit of TV, right?

And within two hours, they're fucking head was just bad.

Right. And that was that day. There was no working out whatsoever. There was maybe like two people who could still do pull ups at 45 when I was a kid.

And it was like Johnny Weissmiller. And that guy who did the juicer who you said dress like Arthur Fonzarelli when he worked on cars on Happy Days.

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