Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr and it's the Monday morning podcast for Monday, April 18th, 2011.

Fuck! I almost said it perfectly. I was so focusing on saying 2011, clearly I fucked up April.

Did you catch that? I say April, April 18th. Let me try that again. Bill Burr starts his podcast.

Hey, what's going on? Everybody, it's Bill Burr and it's the Monday morning podcast for April 18th, 2011.

I can't say without slowing down like some second grader trying to read out of his book, Greenfield, USA.

Did anybody else read that one? I was talking to somebody other day. That's the last geography class I had

in the United States of America. It was in second grade. I read a book called Greenfield, USA.

And I loved it. They talked about all the different goddamn states. You know, they talk about the hot land.

And they'd show us a little picture of some farmer with the cow holding the bottle of milk.

And I'd never think, wow, I wish I lived on a farm. And I had a cow. You know, my little imagination running wild.

And they just cut it out. And now look, look at Americans. You know, we can't find shit anymore.

Somebody was telling me the other day, they fought somebody, they, they, they, they, what quizzed in these college kids.

And kids were putting like Delaware, like where New Hampshire is. You know, that's like, that to me, that is a fucking deal breaker.

Like if I, if I was dating a girl, right, hottest girl on the goddamn planet.

And if she thought Delaware was where, was where like New Hampshire was. You know, I would, I would end that relationship within eight months.

Because she's hot. I continue fucking her. And then hopefully I'd get tired of her.

But in the back of my head, it would just be keeping this bitch. She doesn't know where the states are.

Well, why, why, why would that matter? I mean, everybody has a talent. Everybody has their good side.

And their bad side. Why do women just defend every fucking woman out there?

Is it because there's more of you than there are of us? Is that what it is?

So you just got to be constantly spinning broad shit in a positive way as you guys just sit there fucking battling with each other.

Huh? Is that what it is? I don't know. Why is my head so fucking itchy this week?

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