Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr and it's the Monday morning podcast from Monday, March 24th, 2014.

What's going on? How are you? I'm back in the United States. Oh, say, can you see that fucking fat chick with the pockets?

Buying a hot dog and sitting up on, right as I get off the tarmac. And she puts on some frost.

Sorry. I didn't see that. Somebody's not picturing a fat woman with the pockets that are at least a foot apart. You know what I mean?

I don't know why I was thinking that. I don't know. I'm but I'm back. I'm in my house. It's nice to be sleeping in my own bed after, you know, three weeks being away.

It's nice to see that my house is still here and that the people I love are still, in fact, not in detention camps.

It's weird being away that long and then coming back. I'm still still a little, a little out of it, man.

You know, I'm not a young guy anymore. Takes me a couple of days to settle back into my routine. You know, a gum in my way through some fucking great nuts that I let soak in the fucking milk.

You know, toss a little banana on top of it. You know, it's funny every time I go to get a banana. I deliberately don't take the one with a sticker on it.

I take that one last because I worked with the comic who had a bit about it and every fucking night I had to listen to do this bit about how and which one do we take the one with the sticker and then what would you do you stick it on your forehead and you kept fucking opening with the joke or closing with the I just heard it six times.

I'm talking like 15 fucking years ago to this day I will not take a banana first that has a occasionally I do. You know, in some way right here, you're going to see I told you and I'll be like, what do you mean you fucking told me I that's like once in a blue moon.

And then has the ghost of his voice is going, yeah, but you're doing it on purpose. If you didn't hear my bit, you would have done it every time. So my jokes right and it's like, you know, I go fuck yourself. Go fuck yourself. What are you doing talking in my head? Okay, this should just be me and all my friends, not you, you're not invited. All right, so fuck you and your your your theories about the fruit that I consume.

All right, all right, everybody is fucking March 24th. Okay, and if you live in a colder climate in the northern hemisphere, you got to start, you got to be getting excited, right, daylight savings, the snow start and the thought, right.

The ladies are starting to hit the gym. You're going to hit the gym. Everybody's going to hit the gym.

You know, here comes May. May is right around the corner and everybody, you know, the guys got to get out the guns. The ladies got to show off their thighs. Everybody has to look desirable. So somehow they meet that certain someone that's just going to hold them at night and tell them that everything's going to be okay.

But that's not going to happen, right, unless you're in shape by May. So put down those winter cookies, everybody. May is coming April is a fucking wash.

Nobody gives a fuck about April, except neo-Nazis because Hitler's birthday is sometime in there, right.

And they all get together with their awful haircuts and their stupid mustaches, you know, because they just want to be a part of something and they had awful parents who just didn't get them into scouting.

So what are they doing instead? They join the Hitler youth. You know why? Because they're weak fucking people.

All right, if you have to go out and join a fucking group, you know, at any god damage, you know, unless it's something just fun, I guess being a neo-Nazis, it's got to have its upsides, right.

The boots, you know, getting a bar or the other fucking Nazi friends, clippers, when you share off the side of your skull, whatever the fuck you do, I don't fucking, I don't want the fuck I'm talking about, you know, fuck groups. My groups can be all right.

You know, I guess they can be okay. I'm trying to think of a good group. What's a good group? Like just a group of people that get together in a group and somehow they're not fucking annoying.

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