Monday Morning Podcast 12-7-20
Monday Morning Podcast
All Things Comedy
4.7 • 34.1K Ratings
🗓️ 7 December 2020
⏱️ 63 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Bill rambles about learning French, Texas, and bad neighbors from around the world.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr and it's time for the Monday morning podcast for Monday. |
| 0:07.0 | December 7th, 2020. What's going on? How are you? What's going on? I am in Houston, Texas right now. |
| 0:19.0 | It is Sunday afternoon with 138 left to go in the Indianapolis couch versus the fucking Houston, |
| 0:25.0 | Houston, Houston, Texas. Houston, Oilers, Houston Oilers, Houston Oilers, Houston Oilers. |
| 0:32.0 | Now, Burr, what? I've been on the road for about a week. Been doing two shows a night, you know, |
| 0:40.0 | standing next to highways. I was just out in Austin, Texas. You know what's funny? I'm doing Dallas, |
| 0:47.0 | Austin, and Houston. Now, Dallas and Austin, I would think are like, you know, conservative, you know, |
| 0:54.0 | Dallas is a funny conservative, you know, everything's bigger here in Dallas, right? And they go fucking big with everything, |
| 0:59.0 | but they're conservative. It's weird. You know, you think if you're conservative, you wouldn't go so big. |
| 1:04.0 | You'd be like, well, you know, what if we lose a little bit of money here? Maybe we don't need all four doors on that truck on that truck. |
| 1:11.0 | And then everything would be all like, hey, man, like let's play Hackey Sack and celebrate Joe Biden. Yeah. In Austin. And that's not the way it was. |
| 1:24.0 | I just did Austin, Texas. And it was a fucking free for all people were fucking lunatics in a fun way, in a fun way. But Jesus Christ, |
| 1:38.0 | the first show I did Saturday night, that is the drunkest fucking crowd I've been in front of in front of in front of, and I don't want to shit on the gig because I had a great time in the gig. |
| 1:48.0 | The people who booked me there, they treated me like gold. I mean, there's boxes of cars and everything, which I held off from smoking any of them. |
| 1:55.0 | I'll bring them home and at some point I'm going to have one, but I just can't do it with two shows every night. |
| 2:01.0 | Oh, Freckles, ain't as young as he used to be. So don't let my mid-century good looks fool you. |
| 2:14.0 | Yeah, dude, like they were fucking, dude, it's so funny because people are just so sick of being cooped up. This was like full grown adults drinking like they were pledging a frat. |
| 2:27.0 | I mean, oh, FUMBO! Fuck! Oh, no. The text is just fumble, dude. God, damn it. Romeo Cromwell, I always would for that guy. He was so great for the Patriots. Great fucking coach. God, damn it. Look at JJ watch shaking his fucking head. What are you going to do? |
| 2:47.0 | I like when JJ watched Sacks of Quarterback. Now, he does that little cup of tea. I don't know what it means. I'm taking it to me. Let's let's let's everybody weigh him. What do you think that means when he does a little cup of tea? |
| 2:59.0 | I think it means like, hey, man, I'm just like chilling. Me, me destroying your offensive line and tackling your quarterback and creating mayhem that you're watching. For me, it's just like me chilling out having a little fucking little afternoon cup of tea. I can murder a cup of tea. |
| 3:15.0 | Yeah, but people are so fucking sick of being cooped up. Everybody is kind of going fucking insane. I'm so psyched. This vaccine thing is coming out. And I know there's no people I ain't taking it. I ain't putting it shit me. |
| 3:29.0 | Dude, you know what I heard? You know what I heard? Yeah, what did you hear, buddy? What did you hear? Do whatever the fuck you want to do. I don't give a shit. I'll be like first and why won't be first to lie? They're going to do first responders and other people, whatever. |
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